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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215940">Soft Goro Week 2020 Compilation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>#SoftGoroWeek2020, Alternate Universe, Dragons, Fake Dating, Friendship, Gen, Gorbs, High Fantasy, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Music, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Sleepovers, Stupidity, Urban Fantasy, catnaps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:54:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My entries for Soft Goro Week 2020! Some gen, some Shuake, all of which are probably going to contain various levels of stupidity. Tags will be updated as entries get posted.</p>
<p>Day 7: Free Day (Sleepover)<br/><em>"You guys could always spend the night," Ren said, and Goro swore he could feel Sojiro's spirit begrudgingly give in. "We could text Futaba and ask her to bring some stuff when she finally gets here."</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Some side Sumitaba in Chapter 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Day 7 - Free Day!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jazz for Your Soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know if any of these honestly counts as "soft", but they're certainly stupid! Both words start with an S! That counts for something, right?</p>
<p>Day One: Music and Jazz. The PTs plan something fun for Goro's birthday. (It should be kept in mind that "fun" is subjective.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro suspected the request the moment he received it. There was no way a personal request from Ren sent to the <em>group chat</em> asking Goro to hang out at Leblanc on his birthday could be innocent. The single text carried foul and potentially humiliating implications, and Goro was no fool. </p><p>He left the message on read and prepared a breakfast of instant miso soup and a day old convenience store rice ball. He had no plans since he had no reason to celebrate his birthday in over a decade. It'd be best for him to ignore Ren's message and treat the day like any other.</p><p>Besides, who knew what mortifying activities the Phantom Thieves could have cooked up for him? No, he decided as he finished his breakfast, there would be nothing to gain if he gave in to their whims. They could have planned a surprise party. There might be gifts and awkward well wishes. There might even be <em>singing</em>. </p><p>Far better for Goro to ignore them and continue about his day like nothing special was going on. He had classwork to finish. He needed to make a grocery run. His sheets needed changing.</p><p>Goro was in the middle of sorting through his notes when his phone vibrated. There was another request from Ren for him to visit Leblanc. This time, the message was sent to their private chat, and Ren added in a detail about being there at noon exactly. Goro scoffed and left it on read.</p><p>Ten minute later, he got a text from Ann. Five minutes after that, he got one from Sumire. And on and on it went, a nonstop stream of text messages from all of the Thieves and, bafflingly enough, Sojiro Sakura.</p><p>There was no way in hell Goro was going to Leblanc if the Phantom Thieves managed to get Sojiro involved. Whatever they cooked up had to be elaborate and embarrassing. Goro wasn't going to willingly submit himself to torture. He muted his phone, returned to his notes, and had a blissful hour of work.</p><p>His love affair with differential calculus was interrupted by an insistent knocking at the door. Goro's first thoughts jumped to the worst conclusions—the Conspiracy, the yakuza, the guy behind him in line who cried when Goro bought the last Dipped Katsu Sando at Yon-Germain—but when Morgana's distinctive voice came through, Goro relaxed. This was a pair of unwelcome guests he could safely ignore.</p><p>He left his desk to grab a pair of noise blocking headphones he bought just for this purpose, started up a playlist of smooth jazz, and returned to his blossoming relationship with derivatives. Goro was halfway through the second song when a shadow fell over his desk. The shadow had a shape. It was the shape of a person with a cat on their shoulder, trying to shimmy Goro's window open.</p><p>Goro lived on the third floor. </p><p>He stood so quickly his chair toppled to the ground. He threw his headphones onto the desk and marched over to the window as Ren managed to wedge it open a few centimeters. Goro slammed the window back down; much to his disappointment, Ren managed to snatch his fingers away in time.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing?!" Goro yelled through the window. "Did you really buy a grappling hook to get up here?!"</p><p>"I didn't buy it," Ren said, expression deadpan. "Come to Leblanc at noon. It's important."</p><p>"I'm calling the police."</p><p>The moment Goro's hands left the window, Ren opened it again. Goro slammed it back down, and Ren avoided getting his fingers flattened at the last moment.</p><p>They stared each other down through the pane of glass. Goro reached for his phone with one hand, keeping a hand on top of the rail. Morgana leapt off Ren's shoulder and scrambled up and to the side, somehow gripping the stonework well enough to scrabble out of sight.</p><p>"Where's Morgana going," Goro asked, voice low as his fingers hovered over the touchscreen of his phone.</p><p>Ren shrugged. "Can anyone know what a cat thinks or does?"</p><p>"Yes, because Morgana talks!"</p><p>Goro heard something scrabble against the walls a room over. Ren's face remained unreadable as something—or someone—scuttled around inside his kitchen walls, right where his exhaust vent— </p><p>"Are you kidding me?!" Goro yelled as he ran into his kitchen. He made it to the stove just as Morgana kicked out the vent grate and plopped gracefully down on top of the stove, covered in soot and grime. </p><p>Goro moved to grab him, but Morgana evaded him. He slipped away from Goro's grab, leapt off his stove, snatched Goro's phone out of his hands, and then ran for it. Goro chased after him, screaming bloody murder and not caring who heard him. Morgana was faster, however, and Ren opened the window enough for the cat to squeeze through. He climbed onto Ren's shoulder again, Goro's phone in his mouth, as Ren slammed the window shut.</p><p>"If you want your phone back, Ren said as Morgana made muffled complaints, "then you'll be at Leblanc at noon."</p><p>Goro snarled at them through the window. "I am going to have you arrested!"</p><p>Ren shrugged again, nearly bucking Morgana off, then rappelled down the side of the building. Goro wretched the window open, intent on cutting the grappling line, but he had nothing to cut it with.</p><p>"Amamiya," he screamed as Ren ran away, "I'm going to kill you!"</p><p>He heard his downstairs neighbor gasp through their open window in response.</p>
<hr/><p>Goro marched into Leblanc with his kitchen knife. It was still sealed in the box it came in, but that allowed him to carry it freely around the city. To the people riding the subway with him, he was just a regular person who happened to buy a new kitchen knife instead of the man who was going to sink nine inches of steel into Ren Amamiya's chest.</p><p>The perks of not knowing how to cook were few in number, but this was one of the few.</p><p>Before he could pull the knife out and dramatically cast the box aside, however, Sojiro greeted him.</p><p>"Oh, thank goodness." Sojiro stepped out from behind the counter with such heartfelt relief in his voice that Goro was left stunned. "You actually came. Maybe now I can get some peace."</p><p>Goro crumpled the plastic wrap he peeled off the box into his fist. "I'm sorry?"</p><p>"Yeesh, these kids... I tell you, they really went all out." Sojiro chuckled, an unlit cigarette held loosely in between his fingers. "But I better not say anything else and ruin the surprise. By the way, what's that box for?"</p><p>Goro stuffed the plastic into his pocket and tried to cover up the picture of the knife on the side of the box. "Ah, it's...a birthday present to myself."</p><p>Sojiro narrowed his eyes. "Is that a knife?"</p><p>"I needed a new one," Goro lied.</p><p>"Maybe you should leave it down here. I can put it in the back for you. Now come on. We shouldn't keep them waiting."</p><p>And that was how Goro's murder plan was thwarted. </p><p>Sojiro led him to the attic, where Goro felt his stomach grow heavier and heavier with dread with each step he took. His instincts screamed at him to run away, and they were proven correct when he made it to the top. He was greeted with the Phantom Thieves arranged in a semi circle in the attic; each of them held some sort of instrument.</p><p>Oh, no.</p><p>"Surprise," they all shouted with varying levels of enthusiasm. Goro turned around and tried to leave, but he was blocked by Sojiro. Sojiro gave him a look that said he wasn't above humiliating Goro by manhandling him to keep him up there.</p><p>"Akechi-senpai," Sumire said, nearly knocking over her double bass with her enthusiasm, "happy birthday! We decided that instead of a gift, we'd offer you an, um..."</p><p>"Experience," Ren said, holding a saxophone with an evil glint in his eyes.</p><p>"Yeah," Ryuji muttered. "It's one hell of an experience all right..."</p><p>"What are you all doing," Goro did not scream, because screaming would equate to showing weakness. This was a situation where he could not afford to be weak.</p><p>"We're gonna play you some music," Ann said, a clarinet laying across her lap. "Ren told us you like jazz, so we've been practicing in secret to play you something you'll love!"</p><p>They were planning a torture session. Goro needed to leave.</p><p>"Smooth jazz for your soul," Futaba said, barely visible behind the tuba she awkwardly held on her lap. "You better appreciate it, Akechi. We worked really hard on this."</p><p>"Speak for yourself." Yusuke brought the cymbals he held together in a loud crash. "This is the only action I will perform! Where is the art? The majesty? The passion?!"</p><p>Makoto winced and shuffled away from Yusuke, nearly running into Haru's keyboard. "It's an important role."</p><p>"You are playing the trombone! A role far more important than mine."</p><p>"It's not as if this was my first choice..."</p><p>"ANYWAY," Morgana yelled, hopping down from Ren's bed to stand in the center of the mess, "that's enough talking. Akechi, get ready for the best jazz performance of your life, as sung by yours truly!"</p><p>"Please, no," Goro begged, but it was no use.</p><p>On the count of three, the Phantom Thieves started playing. Ryuji laid out a beat that wasn't half-bad while Sumire and Haru played accompaniment. Haru was good, which was no surprise given her upbringing. Sumire was...not awful, but she also wasn't <em>good</em> either. Overall, however, their performance wasn't the nightmare Goro envisioned.</p><p>Then Morgana started to sing.</p><p>No matter what sort of magic cognition could work, making Morgana's voice <em>good</em> wasn't one of them. His kitty vocal cords just couldn't create the range necessary to sound good while singing. He couldn't stay on pitch. His voice warbled and croaked. The high notes sounded like yowling. Goro didn't know what song Morgana was supposed to be singing, but he could tell it wasn't supposed to be sung like that.</p><p>A few lines in, the rest of the PT joined, and the nightmare Goro feared came true.</p><p>Ren prioritized volume over everything else. There were notes being played from his sax, but calling them that was Goro being generous. Ren's face was impassive, but his cheeks were puffed up from how hard he was blowing that they looked ready to burst. The sound he produced was a sharp, angry, brassy scream that couldn't really be called music.</p><p>Ann didn't make her clarinet scream the same way Ren did, but she wasn't playing well either. Her fingers couldn't keep pace with the song, and she constantly alternated between playing too many discordant notes in succession and not changing the note at all. Several seconds into playing, she released the instrument from her mouth and glared at it.</p><p>Makoto was on trombone, and the look she levelled at her sheet music was better suited for a boxing ring. Her playing was slow—she didn't bother keeping up with the tempo of the song at all. If Goro concentrated only her playing, he could at least make out a melody. Of course, her playing off tempo only added to the ear demolishing chaos of the group, so her efforts at accuracy did nothing to improve the noise.</p><p>Futaba was barely visible behind her tuba. Her playing was squeaky; it wasn't a word Goro thought he could apply to tubas until then. The tuba wobbled in Futaba's hold as much as her playing wobbled in pitch and tone. She at least was determined; she never stopped playing even as the tuba threatened to fall off her lap. That could have been admirable if her playing wasn't so atrocious.</p><p>Yusuke stood there, cymbals hanging low as he held them in his limp noodle arms. By virtue of the fact he was doing nothing, he was the best sounding member of the hellish ensemble barring Haru.</p><p>Goro took a few steps back, intent on sneaking out while the others were engrossed in their torture session. Sojiro's grip caught him on the shoulder before Goro could flee down the stairs. </p><p>"Kid," Sojiro said, grip stronger than Goro's longing to murder everyone in the room, "they've been practicing up here almost every day for two weeks. I've had to listen to every one of their practices. I haven't had any customers in that time. God help me, but you are going to stick around for the whole thing, even if I have to use force to get you to stay."</p><p>And that was how Goro's escape plan was thwarted. </p><p>He stood in Leblanc's dingy attic and endured the soul crushing torture of the shitty cacophony that the PT thought was music. His ears ached. His head ached. His heart ached, which was impressive because Goro hadn't thought heartache was something he could feel anymore.</p><p>The song kept going. And going. And going. Morgana's yowling was starting to grow hoarse. Futaba looked exhausted and likely to keel over at any second. Ann looked ready to quit prematurely. Ren's head was so red that Goro wouldn't have been surprised if it exploded. Sadly, none of those things happened, and Goro was forced to suffer until the very end.</p><p>When everyone's playing finally tapered off, Yusuke brought the cymbals together with so much force that the aftershocks of the sound created a gust of wind in the attic. Goro's ears rang.</p><p>"So," Morgana said in a painful sounding rasp, "how was the Phantom Thieves' spectacular birthday concert?"</p><p>Goro waited until the ringing in his ears subsided before he gave his reply.</p><p>"You," he pointed at Ren, "suck, you blowhard. I kept waiting for your head to explode, and I'm disappointed it never did."</p><p>He turned to the rest of the Phantom Thieves and addressed them all individually. "Sakamoto, you played the same drum beat throughout the entire song and ultimately contributed nothing. But I didn't want to rip your arms off, so that counts for something. Takamaki, were you even trying? It honestly would have improved the overall sound if you stopped playing."</p><p>"Hey," Ryuji and Ann said. Goro ignored them.</p><p>"Kitagawa, the fact that you did nothing made you one of the few tolerable members of this freakshow, but then you had to screw it up in the end."</p><p>"Yes, I agree. It would have been much better if I had a more beautiful instrument—"</p><p>He cut Yusuke off as quickly as he could. "Niijima... It delights me to see you fail so wretchedly at something, but your playing is so atrocious that I felt pity for your instrument. Okumura—"</p><p>Haru smiled at him. She sat perfectly poised on her chair, legs crossed at the ankles and hands resting on her lap. Her smile told him that she wouldn't need a knife to kill him.</p><p>"—your playing was wasted on this group," Goro said, then turned to Futaba. "You... It would have been more entertaining if your instrument fell on you."</p><p>"Oh, it totally did the first five or six times," Futaba said, setting the tuba on the ground and leaning on it. "Nearly got crushed the first couple of times, but now I've got gains from picking this thing up so much!"</p><p>"Oh, god," Goro heard Sojiro mutter.  </p><p>"Yoshizawa, stick to gymnastics."</p><p>"No arguments there, Akechi-senpai."</p><p>"And you, Morgana," Goro said, looking down at Morgana who was looking up at him with something like expectation in his eyes. "A feral street cat would have sounded better than you did."</p><p>"Wha— HEY! No, they wouldn't have! I practiced so hard for days to learn how to sing!"</p><p>"You all were terrible," Goro said over him. He paused. "Except Okumura. This is the worst birthday present I've ever gotten in my life, and I regret ever coming here."</p><p>"He likes it," Ren said. Goro resisted the urge to grab one of Ryuji's drumsticks and stap Ren through the eye with it.</p><p>"This was one of the worst experiences in my life," Goro said, giving Ren the nastiest glare he could conjure, "and I died once."</p><p>That actually got a twitch on Ren's face. It wasn't as satisfying as murder, but it was a better present than the music.</p><p>"You all suck," Goro said to the room at large. "I'm going home and purging my memory of this event with proper jazz music."</p><p>He turned around and left. Sojiro didn't stop him. He heard the sound of Ryuji throwing his drumsticks to the ground as Goro descended the stairs, followed by him saying, "Told ya he'd hate it!"</p><p>Absolutely ridiculous.</p><p>Goro walked behind the counter to grab his knife box. The PTs were so foolish. They went and obtained instruments that most of them couldn't even play for a concert so bad Hell wouldn't have wanted it. What was the point? To give him a birthday present? They spent time and energy and money on him? To do something nice for him? For his birthday?</p><p>Absolute garbage.</p><p>Two weeks, they said. Two weeks of lugging instruments around, practicing in their spare time, trying to learn a skill for a single ten minute performance... All for him. All for Goro. Because they...what? Cared about him? Sojiro even let them use Leblanc and chased out his meager customer base for him.</p><p>They were so stupid...</p><p>They spent two weeks of effort for him. For his birthday. Because they...cared...</p><p>Cared about him.</p><p>Goro stopped three steps outside of Leblanc and stared blankly at the box in his hands.</p><p>No one had ever put forth such effort for him before. No one since his mother, and even then she had been working with only scraps. This...concert was the most elaborate thing anyone had ever put together for his benefit with no strings attached.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves learned to—or tried to learn—how to play jazz music just for Goro.</p><p>As calmly as he could, Goro walked over to the stone partition outside of Leblanc and put his forehead against the surface. He took a deep breath, brought the knife box up to his face, and screamed in his throat without opening his mouth.</p><p>They did that for him. Devoted two weeks of their lives for him. Thought he was important enough to rearrange their lives for him.</p><p>The stone was cool. His face was burning. What the hell. What the actual hell—</p><p>A camera flash interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>"Oops," said Ren, staring at his phone. In front of him, Futaba sighed, her own phone still pointed at Goro. Behind them both, Sumire stood on her tiptoes, holding her own phone above her head to capture Goro's moment of shame.</p><p>"Oops," Sumire echoed as Goro glared at the three of them.</p><p>"Strategic retreat!" Futaba yelled as she tried to herd them back inside.</p><p>"Woah, hey, give some more warning before you run back, would you?" Ann shouted as they ran back inside.</p><p>Goro gripped the box so hard it crumpled. Idiots. Absolute idiots, all of them...</p><p>But...it was his birthday. Murder on his birthday was probably bad luck. He'd let them live. For the day, at least.</p><p>Revenge was sweeter when people weren't expecting it anyway.</p><p>"Idiots," he said fondly, and then went home. </p><p>He was on the train before he realized he never got his phone back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. So Call Me, Maybe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 2: Coffee and Sweets</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro was enjoying a quiet study break alone when a disaster with a mop of black hair and gray eyes the color of tempest clouds stormed into the cafe and nearly crashed into his table. It was, looking back, foolish of Goro to have taken a seat so close to the door; if he hadn't, his day wouldn't have been ruined by the human catastrophe sliding into the seat next to him in a gorgeous tornado of long limbs and wide eyes.</p>
<p>"Excuse me," Goro said, voice frigid as the stunning mess next to him opened his mouth, "but this is my table. Go find another one."</p>
<p>Mr. Storm Eyes put his hands on the table with enough force to rattle the surface. Goro pulled his cappuccino away from the madman. "I need your help."</p>
<p>"I'm going to call the cops if you don't leave me alone in the next five seconds."</p>
<p>"Please, listen!"</p>
<p>"One."</p>
<p>"I'll buy you a coffee. Two coffees. Coffee for the entire month."</p>
<p>"Two."</p>
<p>"A gift card? A year's worth of coffee."</p>
<p>"Three."</p>
<p>"Just pretend to be my date for ten minutes and I'll buy you an entire coffee house somehow."</p>
<p>"Four— What!?"</p>
<p>Tall, dark, and handsome had a look of absolute despair on his face. It was incredibly appealing. "I blew off my friends for something else, and I think they saw me. I need you to pretend to be my date so they think I blew them off for a scandalous gay love affair instead of huffing cats at the cat cafe two blocks down. Please. I'll buy you coffee, cake, sketchy drugs—"</p>
<p>"<em>Sketchy drugs</em>—"</p>
<p>"—anything. I'll leave you alone and you'll never see me again after this."</p>
<p>Goro stared at the deranged individual. His black shirt <em>was </em>covered in small hairs. He wasn't bad looking at all. Far from it. His arms were well toned. His voice was deep and pleasant.</p>
<p>"A month's worth of coffee and dinner. Wire the money over whenever I request it, because I don't want to see you again."</p>
<p>"Deal," he said in his bedroom voice, which was probably his normal voice, and Goro was kind of fucked. "My name's Ren. You should probably know that if we're going to pretend to be on a date."</p>
<p>"Goro."</p>
<p>"Nice name," Ren said, and he reached out and grabbed Goro's hands then cradled them in his own. Goro hissed and tried to yank them back. "They're coming in! Act lovestruck!"</p>
<p>Goro barely managed to school his expression into something neutral as Ren leaned in and placed a kiss on the back of Goro's hands.</p>
<p>"Ren?!" Goro heard someone shout, and Ren immediately let go of Goro and sprang backwards. The look of shock and dismay was surprisingly real. Goro found himself impressed.</p>
<p>"G-guys?" Ren said. "Uh. Wow. What are you all doing here?"</p>
<p>It was remarkably easy to feign embarrassment, given that Ren had kissed his hands not two seconds ago. Goro put on his best shy and beleaguered expression and looked at the three people standing in front of his table. The woman in front had her mouth open in shock. The blond guy behind her had eyes so wide they looked ready to pop out of the socket. The guy behind him was framing the two of them with his fingers.</p>
<p>"I thought," the woman said slowly as she looked between Goro and Ren, pigtails flopping with each turn, "you said that you had something important to do...?"</p>
<p>"Uh," Ren said, and his acting abilities were commendable. "I did. I mean. I do. This is awkward."</p>
<p>"Did you just kiss his hand," the blond one said. "Dude, wait... When you said you had something to <em>do</em>, you didn't mean—"</p>
<p>Impressive how Goro could suddenly see why Ren chose to ditch his friends for cats after just two lines. He pulled his hands to his lap and gave Ren a flustered, nervous look. "Ren?" Goro asked, using the softest, most polite voice he could muster. "Are these your friends?"</p>
<p>"Y-yeah," Ren said, one hand reaching up to toy with a lock of his hair. "Uh, I guess...I should introduce you to them...?" He let out a broken, nervous laugh. His eyes were panicked. Goro made a mental note to ask him for tips. "Uh, well, that's—"</p>
<p>"I'm Ann," the woman said, and Ren's body relaxed. "I'm so sorry about interrupting your guys' date!"</p>
<p>The blond behind her sighed. "Man, and you say I have a big mouth."</p>
<p>She elbowed him hard enough to make him double over. "That's Ryuji! Ignore him. And the one in the back is Yusuke."</p>
<p>"Greetings," the quiet one said at last. "I will admit, Ren, that I am rather hurt by your insistence that you had no partner to model with in my explorations of human sexuality. I would not have cared if it were two men; on the contrary, capturing two men in the throes of passion would have made for a marvelous piece for the exhibition."</p>
<p>What the fuck. Goro turned to face Ren and kept his expression frozen in lieu of breaking character. What the actual fuck.</p>
<p>"Oh my god," Ann muttered under her breath. "We should have left you with the others."</p>
<p>"Hahaha," Goro found himself saying. Suddenly a month's worth of coffee and dinner wasn't compensation enough. "Ren, you never told me you had such <em>interesting </em>friends."</p>
<p>Ren's wince seemed more genuine than the rest of his act. "Yeah, they're something all right... Guys, uh... Could you mind?"</p>
<p>"Oh! Oh, yeah," Ann said, turning around and herding the other two out. "We'll see you later! Nice meeting you, uh..."</p>
<p>"Takeshi," Goro lied. Ren choked and covered it up with a cough.</p>
<p>"Takeshi! Okay! You two have a good time!"</p>
<p>Ann practically shoved the other two out the store and back across the street. Goro and Ren watched them until they vanished into a karaoke lounge, and then they both relaxed. Ren slumped forward and rested his face on the table, nearly knocking over Goro's cappuccino again.</p>
<p>They spent a minute not speaking to or generally acknowledging each other before Ren sat up and cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"Thanks," he said, face sliding into something neutral and impassive. "I owe you one. Or a month's worth of one."</p>
<p>"And dinner," Goro said, politely not looking at the way Ren's eyes were looking at him. "But cats, hm? You must not be fond of your friends very much if you rather spent time with cats than them."</p>
<p>To call the change of expression on Ren's face a wince would have been calling a cup of spilled water a lake. "No, it's not that... It's just a conflict of interests. Everyone's free for the first time in months, but I'm thinking about adopting a cat from the cat cafe. Today was the only day this week I could go over and fill out the paperwork. It takes a few days to process, and I didn't want anyone adopting Morgana before— Sorry, you don't care, do you?"</p>
<p>He didn't, but Goro didn't mind listening to Ren's voice. "I don't. Shall we exchange contact information so you can wire me the money and part ways?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure." Ren pulled out his phone. "Guess my wallet's going to be lighter for the next month..."</p>
<p>"That seems like a you problem," Goro said. "Perhaps you should have thought of that before you enacted this terrible plan. Ah, though before I forget, your acting was very believable. I'm impressed."</p>
<p>"Huh," Ren said as he pocketed his phone and leaned back in his seat. "You are capable of saying something nice. Well, thanks. I'm a theater major."</p>
<p>That explained <em>everything</em>. </p>
<p>"And yourself?" Ren asked when Goro remained silent. "You weren't half bad for someone who got involved in my terrible plan at the last possible minute."</p>
<p>"Pre-law."</p>
<p>"Ah, that explains everything."</p>
<p>Ren smiled when Goro glared at him. It was devastatingly charming. Fuck.</p>
<p>"Well then, <em>Takeshi</em> the pre-law student, thanks for your help. I'll make sure to come up with something suitable for the reason why we didn't work out. Something like Takeshi not being the guy I thought he was, and our entire relationship was built on nothing but lies and deceit."</p>
<p>"I'm going to drain your wallet dry," Goro said as Ren got up and pushed the chair in. His body was lithe, and the lean muscles on his arms and the hints of musculature beneath his shirt were highly appealing. Not bad at all.</p>
<p>"Looking forward to it," Ren said, and if Goro thought he had a bedroom voice before, that was nothing compared to how he was purring out the words now. "Enjoy having me as a sugar daddy for a month, Goro."</p>
<p>He almost threw the cappuccino at Ren's retreating head.</p>
<p>He waited until Ren was out of sight from the cafe window before covering his face with his hands and taking several deep breaths. When he released his face, he unlocked his phone and stared at the screen. He had Ren's contact information. He could, if he wanted to, reach out to him again.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>Goro took a sip of his cold cappuccino and couldn't concentrate for the rest of his study break. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Two Mimir</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 3: Sleep and Dreams</p>
<p>If you're wondering if all of the chapter titles are going to be memes, the answer is yes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro woke up to the afternoon sun on his face and five kilos of cat on his chest. It took him a second to remember where he was and why Morgana was sleeping on him, but the sound of the Phantom Thieves' raucous laughter drifting up from below refreshed his memory. They were still going at it with their celebration of Ann's birthday, which meant Goro hadn't been asleep nearly as long as he feared. He sat up, Morgana tumbling off his chest and into his lap with a yelp, and winced as Morgana dug his claws through his pants and into his thighs.</p>
<p>"Woah, hey," Morgana said, retracting his claws and glaring at Goro, "what was that!? Give me some warning before throwing me off!"</p>
<p>"My apologies," Goro said. His voice wasn't as apologetic as he wanted it to sound. That was one of the multitude of reasons why he hated sleeping; it took him far too long to be able to obtain full control of himself after waking. "I'm afraid I've never had a cat before, so I wasn't sure—"</p>
<p>"I'm not a cat!"</p>
<p>"Ah. That's right. I apologize again, Morgana. I'm afraid your current form has made me unintentionally box you into a certain stereotype—"</p>
<p>"Is that some kind of cat joke? Boxes? Because I'll have you know that I am not a cat, and I don't have weird obsessions with cardboard boxes like they do!"</p>
<p>He was going to throw the cat out the window. Goro plastered on a smile he knew was insincere. "Haha, not at all. Thank you for alerting me to my insensitive and speciest word choice, Morgana. I shall do my utmost to watch my language in the future."</p>
<p>Morgana scowled at him. Goro kept the smile locked on his face. The two of them remained in a standoff for a tense few seconds before Morgana looked away first. Goro felt the tiniest rush of victory wash over his body. </p>
<p>"How long were you napping for?" Morgana asked, tail curling up into something resembling a question mark. "It felt like I just closed my eyes before you woke up again. Are they being too loud downstairs?"</p>
<p>"Not at all. I shouldn't have been napping to begin with." Goro swung his legs out of the bed, dislodging Morgana from his lap in the process. "Not when we have Ann's birthday to celebrate and the final leg of infiltration to plan for."</p>
<p>Morgana, to his surprise, didn't lecture him about moving before Morgana was ready. Instead, the cat stared at Goro's face with something too human-like to feel correct on his small, furry face. Perhaps there was some truth to Morgana being more than a cat after all.</p>
<p>"You should sleep more. You've covered them up, but I can tell there's dark circles under your eyes. Do you have a regular bedtime? That's important for a boy your age!"</p>
<p>Goro froze. Was the cat seriously lecturing him about not getting enough sleep? Was the cat saying that his makeup wasn't doing a good enough of a job to hide his bags? Shit. Who else could see it? </p>
<p>"I've been busier than usual," Goro said, panic driving the sleep-addled slowness of his brain away. He was regaining full control of himself again. "My job as a detective and my responsibilities as a student already left me with a packed schedule, but now that I'm a member of the Phantom Thieves as well—"</p>
<p>Morgana leapt off the bed. "I'll go tell those guys to be quieter. You should try going back to sleep."</p>
<p>"No, that's—"</p>
<p>Morgana sighed. His tail and ears drooped, and he hung his head low. "Those guys aren't gonna talk about Sae's palace today. I know them; they're all gonna party until it gets too late to discuss anything important." He picked up his head and glanced back at Goro. "If you've already blocked out the time for them, might as well catch up on your sleep! Don't worry, we'll wake you up before it gets too late."</p>
<p>"That's really unnecessary," Goro said, even though he would have preferred to sleep than to pretend to play nice with the rest of the Phantom Thieves.</p>
<p>"Nah, it'll be fine," Morgana said as he headed towards the stairs. "Go on, get some more sleep! If you're having a hard time, I'll be back in a few minutes. I've been told my purring is really effective at lulling people to sleep!"</p>
<p>He scampered down the stairs before Goro said anything else. A few moments later, the volume of the celebration decreased significantly. Goro sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The attic was pleasantly cool without being cold. The sunlight was starting to move to a place where it wasn't hitting him on the face anymore. The place smelled of coffee and curry.</p>
<p>It was comfortable. Much more so than his empty, sterile apartment.</p>
<p>Goro pulled his feet back onto the bed and laid his head on the pillows. He was out like a light before Morgana even made it back, and he didn't even wake when Morgana curled up on his chest again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Improvise, Adapt, Overcome</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 4: Fairly Tales and Princes</p><p>everyone's got these cute/sweet/amazing stories and pictures, and here I am...with whatever this is. enjoy dragon!ren, everyone</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once upon a time, there was a prince of nothing, and he had come to slay a dragon.</p><p>Or he had come to <em>try </em>and slay a dragon.</p><p>"You shot me in the head with an arrow," said the dragon. The prince swore and nocked another arrow, but the dragon's pet cat bit the prince on the ankle. </p><p>"Damn cat," the prince said. He tried to shoo the cat, but it had already leapt away.</p><p>"Morgana," the dragon said, trying to stare at the arrow lodged in his forehead and going cross eyed in the process, "stop heckling him and help me pull this arrow out. My claws are too big."</p><p>"I'll kill you both," the prince said, and the dragon sighed before knocking the prince down to the ground with a sweep of his long tail.</p><p>"Killing me is one thing, but killing a harmless cat is another." The dragon shifted as the cat scampered onto his head and pulled the arrow out with his teeth. "Ow. That stung a little."</p><p>"Stop mocking me!"</p><p>"I'm not mocking you. I'm trying to get you to stop so you don't kill my cat."</p><p>"Fuck you and your cat!"</p><p>"Okay, you're definitely a deviant."</p><p>The prince loosed an arrow into the dragon's side. It hit his scales and bounced harmlessly away. The dragon gave him a pitying look. </p><p>"Do you need a moment to calm down? You can't be one of the heroes sent to slay me, because they at least get equipped with enchanted weapons and armor. You don't even have basic leather gear. Your arrows are made from wood and stone." The dragon paused, then stretched his wings out. "You aren't trying to goad me into killing you, are you?"</p><p>The prince of nothing pushed himself onto his feet and pulled out another arrow. He shot it into one of the dragon's wings, but the dragon didn't even flinch. Instead, the dragon sighed and lowered his wings for the cat to pull the arrow out again.</p><p>"If you're looking for a quick end, I don't do that sort of thing. Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>"I want to kill you!"</p><p>"So do a lot of people."</p><p>The prince had only a knife on him. It was a decent knife, good for killing and skinning small prey for food. It would likely do nothing against the dragon.</p><p>The prince tried to stab it anyway. He didn't make it halfway before he was knocked down by the tail again. </p><p>"This is sad," said the dragon.</p><p>"I'm going to kill you," said the prince.</p><p>The dragon sighed and rested his scaly tail on the prince's body, keeping the prince pinned in place.</p><p>"Listen," he said as the prince futilely scratched at the tail, "you don't seem like you were sent here to kill me, you don't have the exact same sort of desperation other people who try to fight me do, so what do you want from me? Some of my hoard? We can strike a deal."</p><p>"I'm going to kill you," the prince said again.</p><p>"You're a broken record," muttered the dragon. "Can I at least know why?"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Ah, I finally got you to say something different." The dragon sighed and lowered his head. He closed his eyes and the cat curled up into a round, fluffy loaf atop his head. "Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to take a nap. Don't wake me too suddenly; I have a tendency to bite things in half if I'm startled."</p><p>The prince of nothing gave his best attempt at shoving the tail off him, but it was no use. The dragon gave the lightest of presses against the prince's body in warning, and the prince wheezed from the sudden increase in pressure on his chest.</p><p>"Morgana," the dragon rumbled, "wake me up in an hour."</p><p>"I am going to sell every one of your scales on the black market," the prince hissed. The dragon let out a snore in response.</p><hr/><p>When the dragon awoke, he was pleased to find that he hadn't accidentally killed the prince in his sleep. He was not pleased, however, to find what the prince had been doing while he was asleep.</p><p>"Are you really trying to work off one of my scales?"</p><p>"Your third one, actually" the prince said, voice calm as he methodically slid his knife beneath a scale. "I've already succeeded in removing two of them."</p><p>The dragon lifted his head and found two of his shiny black scales laying next to the prince's body.</p><p>"Please stop."</p><p>"No," the prince said, working the knife and loosening the scale. It tickled. "If I get enough of these loosened, I'll be able to finally stab you. Plus they would fetch a nice price at the market."</p><p>"Please go back to being angry and yelling about how you're going to kill me. This calm psychopath thing really isn't— OW!"</p><p>The prince ripped the third scale off and stabbed his knife into the small square of flesh he exposed. The dragon whipped his tail back.</p><p>"Go ahead," the prince hissed as he leapt to his feet, free at last. "Just try and kill me."</p><p>The dragon curled his tail back, and the cat removed the dagger. "You're absolutely crazy."</p><p>"Fuck you! I'm going to kill you and get what's rightfully mine!"</p><p>"Oh, we're finally getting somewhere." The dragon sat up, and he was impressed how the prince didn't waver despite their incredible size difference. "Are you sure you don't want to talk—"</p><p>The prince shot an arrow towards the dragon's eye. He barely closed his eyes in time. With a sigh, he brought his tail down on the prince again, but this time the prince leapt away in time. The dragon opened his eyes. He closed them when the prince released another arrow aimed for his eyes. </p><p>"Stop shooting me."</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Can we work this out like normal people?"</p><p>"Fuck you!" The prince shot an arrow at the underside of the dragon's throat. It sunk in, but the dragon didn't even twitch. "Damn it, why are you so difficult to kill?!"</p><p>"If I weren't difficult to kill, the dragon said dryly, "then I wouldn't be here for you to work out your rage against. Do you know how many people they've sent after me? Each of them were better armed than you, and I killed them all. What are you going to do?"</p><p>There was no response from the prince. There was no sound or indication he was moving at all. The dragon cautiously peeked at him. The prince was rigid, limbs locked to his side, his red eyes glinting with pure, relentless hate.</p><p>This guy was trouble. If the dragon didn't get rid of him now, he'd be sure to come back with equipment that could actually hurt him.</p><p>"Hey," the dragon said, "I really don't want to hurt you—"</p><p>The prince cut him off with a hiss of sounds that twisted the dragon's organs. Before the dragon could do anything, a solid blade of darkness pierced his side.</p><p>He screamed and rolled over to his side. Blood was spilling out of the wound. It wasn't anywhere near fatal, but it was more damage done to his body than anyone else had achieved in generations. </p><p>The prince of nothing was a true mage. Not one of the academics who threw around cantrips and prized their ego more than the craft; no, this prince was the real deal. He was dangerous.</p><p>"I will kill you," the prince hissed, eyes blazing with fury and determination. He stalked towards the dragon, and the dragon felt fear for the first time in centuries. "I will cut off your head, take it back to the kingdom, and get what's mine by right!"</p><p>Ah, here was the part where he expositioned his backstory. Wonderful. He had to wait until he proved he was dangerous.</p><p>"Is that what this is," the dragon said. "A proof of courage? Merit? Birthright?"</p><p>"Yes," the prince said, and the dragon sighed and backhanded him against a rock.</p><p>The prince of nothing might have been a true mage, but he was also wearing practically no armor. He slammed his head against the rock and was out like a light.</p><p>"Morgana," the dragon said, craning his head to stare at the cat who was looking at him in disgust, "could you heal me?"</p><p>Morgana shook his head. "I told you you should have eaten him."</p><p>"Morgana."</p><p>"You sympathized with him, didn't you? He's actually dangerous!"</p><p>"Morgana, please."</p><p>"Ugh, I can't stand you sometimes."</p><p>"MORGANA."</p><hr/><p>When the prince awoke, he was bound and gagged. He snarled and struggled, but then stopped when the dragon next to him stood on all fours and pressed his snout far too close for comfort.</p><p>"You should eat and drink something," the dragon said before the prince could try to squirm threateningly at him. "If we ungag you, will you promise not to attack me again?"</p><p>The prince of nothing glared at the dragon. The dragon sighed and stepped back.</p><p>"Okay, I guess you can starve..."</p><p>"I told you," someone else said, and the prince squirmed around to try and find who said it. "He's not gonna cooperate. You should just eat him and put us all out of our miseries."</p><p>The dragon's cat walked right up to the prince and stared at him. "He doesn't look any more special than all the others, and he's dangerous if he can use real magic," the cat said, and the prince nearly choked on his gag. "I don't know how I feel about this risk you're taking, Ren."</p><p>The dragon lazily scratched near the area where the prince had shot him on the neck. "There's something about him... He's special, and not just because he can use real magic."</p><p>The prince of nothing couldn't hear anything else the dragon said over the hot flush of emotion that washed over his body. Special. The dragon called him special. </p><p>The prince ground his head against the rocky floor of the dragon's lair, willing the wave of emotion to go away. When it didn't, he snarled as best he could around the gag and tried to roll away. If he was lucky, maybe he'd fall off the outcropping.</p><p>"Woah, woah," the cat said. "He's getting away!"</p><p>The prince was stopped by the dragon's tail.</p><p>"If you want to die," the dragon said coldly as he rolled the prince back into his range of sight, "then do it far away from here, or let me eat you."</p><p>The prince glared at the dragon and muffled curses through the gag.</p><p>The dragon looked at the cat. The cat looked back at the dragon. They both looked at the prince.</p><p>"If you attack either one of us when we ungag you," the cat said, "then Ren's going to eat you."</p><p>With that, the cat plucked out the gag with his paw, and the prince coughed as the bundle of cloth rolled away from his mouth. "Fuck you," he rasped, and the dragon sighed and shoved him some more with his tail.</p><p>"If you behave, we'll release your bindings and get you some food and water. Refresh yourself, and then I'd like to hear more about you."</p><p>"I'm not telling you anything!"</p><p>"Then I guess I'll eat dinner early." The dragon leaned in close, so close the prince could feel the hot puffs of breath as he exhaled. "Those are your choices. Let's see if you're as stupid as Morgana thinks you are."</p><p>The prince glared at him. And then accepted the food and water the cat brought.</p><p>After a meal of roasted meat and spring water—something that was far better than his own meager attempts at cooking, mainly because the meat wasn't charred black—the prince spilled his entire backstory to the dragon. Not because he wanted to, but rather because the dragon had taken to staring at the prince like he finally realized he gave his food to a stranger who tried to kill him, and now the dragon was short on food and stuck with a deranged person, but he could get rid of all those problems if he bit the prince in half...</p><p>The food and water helped to clear the prince's head enough to realize that he did not, in fact, want to get eaten.</p><p>"You're a prince of nothing," the cat said, and the prince nodded. The cat shook his head. "What the heck does that even mean?"</p><p>"Exactly what it sounds like," the prince said. He ignored the way the dragon stared at him like he was an entire buffet waiting to be devoured. "I am a prince with no possessions, no home, no people, no family. I have nothing. I have always had nothing. I belong nowhere."</p><p>"But you're your father's only heir. Shouldn't that make him happy to have you around?"</p><p>"That man is a king of nothing," the prince snarled. "His rule is defined by nothing but lies and deceit, and that's why I'm going to bring him the head of this dragon and force him to acknowledge me, force him to admit his desire to lead his own kingdom to oblivion, and force him to kneel before me and admit I'm better than him!"</p><p>"Or you could just kill him," the dragon said.</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>"You could just kill him." The dragon yawned and showed off every one of his large, pointy teeth to the prince, along with just how big his mouth was. Forget biting him in half, the dragon could easily swallow the prince whole. "Your father is the one who sends all those soldiers and heroes to try and kill me, right?"</p><p>"Yes. He wants all the virtuous people to perish so he can preserve his kingdom of filth and degeneracy." </p><p>"He's a pain. I've been wanting to kill him for a while, but I also didn't want the entire kingdom to come after me. But if you, the king's only son, are here..." The dragon smiled. It made his fangs look even more threatening. "I've got a plan. You want to humiliate him, right?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I want him dead and the kingdom off my back... How about we work together to make it happen?"</p><p>The prince of nothing stared at the dragon. "Why on earth would I want to team up with a beast—"</p><p>The dragon yawned again. The prince shut up. He clenched his fists tightly together before he forced himself to untense.</p><p>"All right," the prince said, "what's your plan?"</p><hr/><p>Once upon a time, there was a prince of nothing. He was the son of a king of lies who sought only to bring the kingdom to ruin from the inside. He threw away his only son to further sow chaos in the kingdom, not realizing his son held tremendous power within himself.</p><p>The prince of nothing went on a journey to find something to claim for himself. During this journey, he developed the power that slumbered within him, but he found no answers that would ease his heart. Eventually, after years of travelling, he returned to the kingdom he had left and found a dragon who nested on the kingdom's outskirts.</p><p>He heard from the people that the king had been sending soldiers and knights and heroes from inside and outside the kingdom for years in an attempt to slay the dragon, but none had succeeded. There were almost no virtuous people left inside the kingdom anymore, and they were running out of heroes outside of the kingdom as well. </p><p>The prince of nothing understood this was a part of the king's plans to prevent anyone from stopping him. Though he was a prince of nothing, he was still a prince. He cobbled together some arrows and a bow, and went to face the dragon alone. If he could, through some miracle, defeat the dragon and bring its head to the king... Why, the king would have no choice but to acknowledge his plans for the kingdom. Have no choice but to acknowledge <em>him</em>.</p><p>And so he went to fight a dragon. He lost.</p><p>But the dragon was no ordinary beast terrorizing the kingdom merely because he could. The dragon was intelligent. Strong. Cunning. Kind.</p><p>The dragon and the prince discovered they had a common goal. And together, they forged a plan.</p><p>On the darkest night of the month, when the moon had hid itself from the view of man, they struck. The prince was clad in the armor and weapons of fallen heroes. He rode atop the dragon and they destroyed the castle. </p><p>There was a bloody, difficult fight, but in the end, the prince of nothing made the king kneel before his feet. He forced the king to confess his plots, and then he removed the king's head with a blade the king himself had bequeathed to one of the many heroes he sent to their doom.</p><p>Before the kingdom, the prince of nothing told his people their king of lies was gone. The prince told them they would no longer have to fear the dragon, for the prince had tamed and controlled him.</p><p>("Excuse me," the dragon said, "I can still eat you.")</p><p>The prince then left, much to everyone's surprise. He had accomplished what he set out to do. He had no desire to lead. He had no ambition to rule.</p><p>The prince of nothing, who was no longer a prince and therefore just nothing, left. Destined to wander the land as a vagrant, he felt nothing as he threw aside the armor and weapons of dead men and slipped away in the night.</p><p>He was stopped by a stranger. </p><p>The stranger was accompanied by a cat.</p><p>"Oh, what the actual fuck," said the one who was nothing.</p><p>"Shapeshifting," the dragon who was not a dragon said. "It comes in handy. Where are you going?"</p><p>"What does it matter? You have what you want; the people here will leave you alone."</p><p>"And you? Are you leaving because you still think you're a prince of nothing?"</p><p>"I'm not a prince anymore. I'm just nothing."</p><p>The dragon who was not a dragon's eyes were kind and understanding. The one who was nothing hated them.</p><p>"If you're nothing," the dragon who was not a dragon said as the one who was nothing pushed past him, "then why not join me for a while."</p><p>The one who was nothing stopped. Turned. "What?"</p><p>"I'm thinking of moving. Although the kingdom says they've made their peace with me, some things aren't so easy to forgive." He shrugged. "I did eat a bunch of their heroes."</p><p>"Why would I want to accompany you?"</p><p>"I can take you to some place where no one knows you. Where no one would care you used to be a prince of nothing. You could start anew, if you wanted. I have plenty of treasure, although I don't think you'd take any of it."</p><p>"And why would you do that for me?"</p><p>The dragon who was not a dragon smiled. He still had his fangs. "If it weren't for you, I would've been just another dragon destroying a kingdom. Offering you this chance is me keeping my end of our deal."</p><p>"A deal, huh?" The one who was nothing smiled. "I see. I suppose I would have never been able to pull off the plan so smoothly if it weren't for you. I do hate leaving my debts unresolved, so I could consider going with you to be paying you back."</p><p>"You make it sound like going with me is a pain—"</p><p>"All right," the one who was nothing said. "Let's go." He walked a few steps, then stopped. "My name is Goro, by the way."</p><p>"Oh. My name is Ren, but you heard it from Morgana already."</p><p>"And you both already know my name," Morgana sighed.</p><p>Ren walked up so he and Goro were side by side on the road leading out of the kingdom. In this form, they were the same height. Goro and Ren looked at each other for a moment, and Ren smiled again.</p><p>"Well, then," he said, scales creeping up his neck, "shall we?"</p><p>And they lived happily ever after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What is Love?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 5: Love and Bonds</p>
<p>My brain really wanted this to be 6-7K, but I beat it up and got it to be under 3K. Take that, brain. You're not the boss of me.<br/>Featuring some side Sumitaba, ohoho.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sumire slides into the seat across from Goro and, without so much as a hello, says: "Akechi-senpai, I need your help."</p>
<p>Goro sips his coffee. Her hair is down. Disheveled. Frizzy. Her glasses are crooked. Her eyes have bags under them. "Okay," he says. He's probably going to have to kill someone. "What do you need?"</p>
<p>"I need you to teach me everything you know about Featherman."</p>
<p>He has no idea how to respond, so he doesn't.</p>
<p>"Please," Sumire says. "Even giving me a starting point would be helpful! I tried looking up stuff last night, but I got so overwhelmed with how much information there was..."</p>
<p>Goro regains his ability to speak in time to ask her: "Which series? Original Phoenix Ranger Featherman? Phoenix Ranger Featherman R? Neo Phoenix Ranger Featherman? Phoenix Ranger Featherman Victory?"</p>
<p>Sumire looks paralyzed, like a prey animal who spotted a predator. "I... Whichever ones Futaba likes?"</p>
<p>She clamps her hands over her mouth, and Goro understands. While he knows a considerable amount about Featherman lore, he is woefully inept at what Sumire is truly asking for advice on. </p>
<p>"It'd be better to ask Futaba herself on where to start. Trying to flaunt your knowledge won't impress her. If anything, that will only lead to debates you're guaranteed to lose."</p>
<p>Sumire looks so down Goro's amazed the objects haven't started flying towards her face. "But wouldn't she be annoyed if a novice like myself is bothering her?"</p>
<p>"I don't presume to know much about her, but given how she complains about not having anyone around who understands her hobbies, I think she'd be ecstatic to have someone show genuine interest. Wouldn't that impress her more than you pretending to be a Featherman fan?"</p>
<p>Sumire stares at the table in silence before she snaps her head up. There's a shine of determination that wasn't there before. She reaches out, grabs Goro's hands, stands, and bows low over them.</p>
<p>"Akechi-senpai," she says, her voice so full of gratitude people around them start to stare, "thank you. You... You've made me so happy!"</p>
<p>Goro yanks his hands back. People continue to stare. "I didn't do it for you." He wishes Sumire would stop bowing and sit down. "I don't have time to get into the intricacies of the series."</p>
<p>Sumire stops bowing, but her misty-eyed relief keeps the voyeurs engaged. "Even so, what you've done for me means so much... I am so, so grateful! If you ever need a favor from me, I promise I'll come running to help you!"</p>
<p>Future murder accomplice achieved. "It really wasn't a big deal. Stop making this into a big deal."</p>
<p>Sumire nods, then leaves. She hovers at the door to wish Goro a loud farewell, and he drops his face to his hands in response as people finally stop staring.</p>
<p>He thinks nothing of the conversation for two days, until he's sliding into his usual seat at Leblanc. Sojiro's out, and Ren is the only one manning the cafe. Goro's the only customer, and it's exactly how he likes it.</p>
<p>Ren doesn't look at him; he's already preparing Goro's drink. "The usual?"</p>
<p>"Of course." Goro slouches, puts his elbows on the counter, and watches Ren work. He's watched him so many times Goro could mimic Ren to make a subpar coffee by this point, but the sight never gets old. Their fingers brush when Goro takes the cup. "How have you been? Finally clear up the mess involving Sakamoto and the computer?"</p>
<p>Ren doesn't look at him and goes back to clean up. "Yeah. Ryuji didn't actually break anything. The computer just needed an update." Ren flicks water off his hands and doesn't turn around. "How are you and Sumire doing?"</p>
<p>Goro hadn't spoken with her since their conversation two days ago. "She's probably fine; I'm not her keeper. If you're curious how she's doing, ask her yourself."</p>
<p>Ren sighs and tucks his hands into his pockets. "I saw you two at that cafe. She looked really happy."</p>
<p>Goro's mind is making connections he isn't prepared to face. "I merely helped her with a problem."</p>
<p>"Goro, it's okay." A pause. "You can drink whatever coffee you want."</p>
<p>Goro's thoughts come to a screeching halt. The door opens not a second later."</p>
<p>"Reeeeen," Futaba whines, "I need to fill up my stomach with food to make up for the hole in my heart— Oh."</p>
<p>She freezes when she spots Goro. Folds in on herself. Goes quiet.</p>
<p>"Curry and coffee, coming right up," Ren says, sparing them both an awkward silence. "Futaba, why don't you wake Morgana up? It's his feeding time too."</p>
<p>Futaba flees upstairs without a word. Goro drains his coffee and nearly scalds his tongue. He gets up as Ren comes out of the kitchen, two plates of curry in his hands.</p>
<p>"Are you leaving already?"</p>
<p>"There's something I remembered I have to do." Call Sumire. "My apologies; I really did want to spend more time here, but..."</p>
<p>Ren looks at him at last, but his smile is strained. "No, it's all right." Another pause. "Say hi to Sumire for me."</p>
<p>Goro nearly trips over the threshold on his way out. He waits until he gets back to his apartment to call Sumire; he doesn't trust himself to remain composed in public. </p>
<p>Sumire picks up on the fourth ring. "Akechi-senpai? What's up?"</p>
<p>"Ren thinks we're dating."</p>
<p>He hears her choked inhale of breath. "Wh-what?! Why?!"</p>
<p>"He saw us together at the cafe. He mostly likely told Futaba as well."</p>
<p>"Oh, no... Oh, no! I asked her to make me into a Featherman expert yesterday, and she sounded off when she replied! Was it because she thought we were dating, and I was trying to impress you?"</p>
<p>"Possibly. Either way, we have to clear this up."</p>
<p>"Yes, I agree... Should we meet at Leblanc?"</p>
<p>Goro hesitates long enough for Sumire to call his name. "I...just left there. I had to pull a hasty retreat once I found out."</p>
<p>"Oh... But that means you aren't too far away, right?"</p>
<p>"I'm actually home," he admits. He feels like a fool. "I didn't want to have this conversation in public."</p>
<p>"Oh," Sumire says again, and her "oh" carries a pitying sort of hesitance Goro hates. "Do you want to wait until tomorrow, then?"</p>
<p>"No. I'll be there in half an hour."</p>
<p>"O-okay! Um, Akechi-senpai..." Sumire's hesitance builds dread in the back of Goro's throat, chokes him like he's swallowed something whole. "You don't have to answer, but are you and Ren-senpai—"</p>
<p>"Half an hour," Goro repeats. He hangs up.</p>
<p>Going back to Leblanc immediately after he left is beyond foolish, but Goro is a fool and so is everyone else involved. Sumire is already at Yongen-Jaya when he arrives. She's wringing her hands in front of the second-hand shop, but she brightens when she sees him.</p>
<p>"Senpai," she says too loudly.</p>
<p>"Sumire," Goro grunts. "Are you ready?"</p>
<p>She nods and moves away from the store. The shopkeep shakes his head. "Yes. We're going in and telling them we're not dating and we never will. Oh, no offense, Akechi-senpai. I'm sure someone will—"</p>
<p>He lifts a hand and cuts her off. "Let's just get going."</p>
<p>They walk into Leblanc together, where Futaba and Ren are seated on opposite sides of the same booth. Their heads are bent low and they're speaking to each other in hushed voices. Morgana is licking himself on the table. Ren cranes his head around once the door opens, and his face falls when he sees Goro and Sumire enter together.</p>
<p>Perhaps, Goro thinks, they shouldn't have walked in nearly side-by-side.</p>
<p>"Senpai, F-Futaba," Sumire says, walking past Goro with a confidence he could tell she didn't feel, "I— Um... There's s-something we, um..."</p>
<p>Goro rolls his eyes. Both Ren and Futaba are wincing, likely because they think this is their official announcement of their relationship. "We're not dating. We have no interest in each other."</p>
<p>Silence fills Leblanc. Then: "What?" Futaba drops her spoon; it makes a terribly loud sound when it hits the ground. "You two aren't!?"</p>
<p>Sumire's face is completely red. "Akechi-senpai isn't my type!"</p>
<p>Goro shrugs. "I'm gay."</p>
<p>Ren's entire plate of curry manages to slide off the table and land on his lap. He and Morgana both cry out in shock. </p>
<p>"But," Futaba states, looking back and forth between Sumire and Goro and ignoring Ren's plight, "you wanted to learn about Featherman because of Akechi, right?"</p>
<p>"No! I-I... I, um, a-actually asked Akechi-senpai about Featherman b-because of, you know, y-you..."</p>
<p>"She likes you," Goro says to Futaba. Sumire covers her face and screams. "You clearly like her too, so go ahead and run off to do...whatever it is you two want to do together."</p>
<p>Futaba's eyes are enormous behind her glasses. Sumire stops screaming, but she's wailing Goro's name in despair, hands still covering her face.</p>
<p>"O-okay," Futaba says. She rises to her feet as her face grows as red as Sumire's. "Let's... Let's go watch some Featherman!" She jumps away from the booth and grabs Sumire's arm. "We can start with Neo since the original series isn't great!"</p>
<p>"The original is a work of art," Goro says, but he still moves to the side to allow them both through. </p>
<p>Futaba drags Sumire by the arm, but halfway to the door, Sumire collects herself enough to hold Futaba's hand. Futaba's eep of shock is loud and high enough to make Goro wince as they stumble through the door.</p>
<p>That leaves only Ren. And technically Morgana.</p>
<p>"I'm getting out of here," Morgana says once Goro looks at him. "I know what's gonna happen next, and I'm not sticking around to see it!" He runs to the door, and Goro helpfully opens it to let him through.</p>
<p>This leaves him and Ren alone in Leblanc. Ren is wiping curry and rice off himself and the booth. Goro watches for a second, disgustingly enamored, before he goes to the back and fetches a rag.</p>
<p>He brings it back to Ren and lets it dangle out of his hand. Ren mutters a thanks, grabs the rag, glances at Goro, and then does a double take when he realizes they're alone.</p>
<p>"Everyone left?" Ren looks around. "Even Morgana?"</p>
<p>"He said he didn't want to be around because he knows what's going to happen next."</p>
<p>Ren gives him a weary, resigned look. "And what's going to happen next?"</p>
<p>Goro smiles. It's unhinged. Victorious. Smug.</p>
<p>"You like me," Goro says with all the confidence of someone who knows he's already won. "You were jealous of Sumire when you thought we were dating."</p>
<p>Ren doesn't say anything. He looks down at the mess on his lap, but doesn't resume his clean up. It's as good as a confirmation.</p>
<p>"I gave myself away, huh?" Ren says after a long stretch of silence. He dabs at a puddle of curry on his thigh, then gives up the pretense and throws the rag onto the table. "I can't hide anything from you, Mr. Detective."</p>
<p>Goro snorts. "Please. A child could have seen you were jealous. Did you think you were hiding it well?"</p>
<p>The twitch on Ren's face answers the question for him.</p>
<p>Goro wants to laugh. He does laugh. "Do you like me that much? You really like me so much you were jealous of <em>Sumire</em>?! What's wrong with you?"</p>
<p>Ren looks at him. There is no sign of embarrassment or shame on his face. His eyes look like they're ready to start a fight. Goro feels a pleasant chill go down his spine.</p>
<p>"If you're going to stand there and make fun of me, then go away. I need to clean up the store and then myself."</p>
<p>"Please. You're a mess, and you always will be. So will I." Goro smiles, more gently this time. "I suppose that's what makes us so drawn to each other."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Don't move," Goro tells him. "I don't want to get curry on my clothes."</p>
<p>He grabs Ren by the collar and leans down to kiss him. He barely presses his mouth against Ren's before Ren responds. Ren ignores Goro's orders and pulls him in closer. Tilts his head so they fit better against each other. Opens his mouth and deepens the kiss.</p>
<p>When Goro pulls himself away, Ren leans after him. Everything smells like coffee and curry. Everything smells like Ren.</p>
<p>"I told you not to move," Goro says. His voice is raspy. Strange. They hadn't kissed for very long.</p>
<p>"Since when do I listen to you?" Ren licks his bottom lip, and Goro's eyes follow his tongue of their own volition. "If you give me ten minutes, I can clean up the mess and myself so we can continue."</p>
<p>Goro lets him go. "I'll help," he says, picking up the rag. "This is partially my fault."</p>
<p>"Goro Akechi, openly admitting his wrong doing? Have I died and gone to heaven?"</p>
<p>He smacks Ren with the rag. It leaves a trail of curry across his shirt. "Like you'd end up in heaven. You'd chase me into Hell and find a way to get us both kicked out. Come on, let's get this cleaned up."</p>
<p>They clean up Leblanc in less than five minutes, and Ren closes up shop for the day. It takes far longer to get Ren clean, and Goro is happy to take the blame for it. In fact, they don't finish with Ren's "clean up" until late in the evening, when Haru sends Ren a message.</p>
<p>She says over text Morgana will be spending the night with her, so Ren doesn't need to worry. She also relays Morgana has requested for her to pass on a message to not do anything that Sojiro will regret walking into in the morning.</p>
<p>Ren laughs into Goro's shoulder so hard they have to stop and actually finish getting Ren clean.</p>
<p>The bathhouse is packed, but it gives them an excuse to sit close to one another. Goro sits in the hot water and realizes he's going to have to stay the night. Ren's bed is terrible; Goro's going to wake up sore in an unpleasant way. As they share a yogurt drink in the changing room, however, Goro finds he doesn't mind.</p>
<p>He'll thank Sumire in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Wait, It's All Gorbs? Always has Been.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 6: Gorb and Fun AUs</p>
<p>This is not the weirdest thing I've ever written, but it's the weirdest thing I've written for this week. Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He meets Alibaba in a dingy underground bar on a rundown side street eight minutes from the outskirts of Shibuya. It's surprising, given Alibaba's reclusive, anxious nature, but Goro doesn't have the luxury of prying nor does he really want to know.</p>
<p>She's wedged into a corner, back against the wall and the slouchy hood of her hoodie covering almost her entire face. Despite her eyes being hidden, Goro knows she's watching. The bar's mostly empty; the bartender doesn't even look at him when he walks in. The floor is sticky and grimy. It smells less like booze and more like piss.</p>
<p>The chair tries to stick to the floor when he pulls it out. He sits in it clumsily, trying not to wobble too much on its uneven legs.</p>
<p>"Yo," Alibaba says, then slides over a folder she pulls out from underneath her hoodie. "Got an interesting lead for you. There's pictures. Glossy ones. In color."</p>
<p>"Can't be a serious one if you're making wisecracks," Goro mutters, but he opens the folder dutifully. The first page is a standard briefing: unknown artifacts appearing suddenly, not sure if they were the work of something supernatural or a prankster, the frequency of the appearances increasing to the point where it was either a well coordinated global stunt or something that could threaten the safety of the world, please look into the matter and assess the threat, etc.</p>
<p>He turns the page and freezes when he sees the picture. From the darkness within her hood, Alibaba's glasses reflect the dim light and glint menacingly.</p>
<p>"Is this a joke?!"</p>
<p>"Nope," she says. "This picture was taken by our wonderful Agent J—"</p>
<p>"So it is a joke."</p>
<p>"—who hand delivered it to Lady Lavenza and then broke down laughing for about twenty minutes as he was trying to give his report. It's the real deal; you know he'd be able to keep his cool if he was behind this." </p>
<p>He stares at the photograph and quells the urge to rip it into pieces as best he can. It's blurry, unfocused, and the artifact isn't even centered properly. </p>
<p>He is going to punch J in the face the next time they meet.</p>
<p>"This is why we requested you specifically," Alibaba continues. "This artifact, which we've named 'Gorb'—"</p>
<p>"Change the name."</p>
<p>Alibaba slouches even more. "Lavenza came up with the name! You think I'm gonna be able to change her mind? Anyway, Gorbs have been appearing all over the world, in a bunch of locations from the mundane to the impossible. There's been whispers on the net of some even showing up in restricted military areas <em>we</em> can't get to."</p>
<p>Goro grits his teeth and flips the photograph over. The next item in the folder is another photo, one that actually looks professionally taken. "Have these objects exhibited any signs of supernatural energy?"</p>
<p>"Nope. I shoved a few to some of the demons at my place and the only thing they told me was the face freaked them out." Alibaba shrugs when Goro glares at her. "Their words, not mine! But other than them manifesting everywhere, they're perfectly normal plush toys. We've dissected a few and taken them apart for study. They're stuffed with a cotton-polyester blend, stitched with cotton thread... Pretty normal."</p>
<p>He flips the second photograph over and sees the autopsy report. There's a picture of a technician cutting into the plush with a scalpel. Bits of fabric sit in a covered tray, each of them labeled with their composition. A round ball of fluff sits in a sealed jar. </p>
<p>There is something incredibly hysterical about the idea of the Velvet Society dissecting a plush toy like it was a demonic threat, and Goro would have found it funny if it weren't for the fact the toy looks like him.</p>
<p>"If this all turns out to be a joke, I'm quitting."</p>
<p>"If this all turns out to be a joke, I'll help you get fired so you can still get unemployment benefits or whatever. I find this funny, but if it's a threat, it's really creepy they're using you."</p>
<p>Goro slams the folder shut. "My timeline?"</p>
<p>"As soon as possible. We'd like an initial report three days from now, even if you tell us you learned nothing new. Check-ins twice a week after that."</p>
<p>He nods and tries to slide the chair back, but nearly tosses himself backwards out of the chair when it's too stuck to move. Alibaba watches him as he fumbles his way out, then lifts her head up when he nods at her.</p>
<p>"Right," he says. "I'll speak to you in three days."</p>
<hr/>
<p>He is not, as it turns out, the only agent assigned to the case. The Twins contact him as he's pouring over all the files that night by manifesting a package onto his desk. The box is wrapped with strawberry wrapping paper, and the ribbon is bright red and tied into an elaborate bow. There's a piece of stationary taped to the outside. One of them has written, "Thought we'd exchange notes! Good luck, Crow!" in cute, rounded characters. </p>
<p>Inside the box are pages of notes, clippings, pictures, and official documents. The Twins had focused mostly on collecting as many reports of the Gorbs as they could. They'd collected data from social media, news reports, video streams, and even interviews on people about the Gorbs. All of the data had been used to create a timeline and heat map of the Gorbs' appearances.</p>
<p>The phenomenon began about a month ago. The manifestation process is the same in each case. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a single Gorb would appear in some random location, low to the ground, with no sign of where it had come from or how it had gotten there.</p>
<p>The locations the Gorbs manifest in are all different, with no discernible pattern. Goro stares at the map The Twins sent him. It looks like a scatter plot.</p>
<p>One hundred and sixty-eight Gorb spawns in the span of a month. Approximately five and half spawns per day. And that was only the ones that were reported or recorded.</p>
<p>"Huh," Goro says to himself. "I wonder if I'll have one spawn near me."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Three days later, he has nothing to report to Alibaba. </p>
<p>"That's what we figured... You've been getting our daily updates, right?"</p>
<p>Goro nods. "Yes. The trend of there being no trend continues."</p>
<p>"Well, keep up the good work! We'll let you know if anything changes. Oh," Alibaba says, her digital avatar smacking itself in the face, "I almost forgot! There's a few more agents who are working on this case since we've got no leads. They'll be in contact with you in the coming days. One of them wants to meet in person, so keep an eye out for that."</p>
<p>"Ah. Wonderful." </p>
<p>"Don't worry, it's not J. I have a feeling you'd try to punch him in the face if you two meet up again."</p>
<p>It worries Goro how well Alibaba can read his intent. </p>
<p>"Okay, that's all for real. Talk to you later, Crow!"</p>
<p>It's barely two minutes after he's ended his call with Alibaba when someone knocks on his door. </p>
<p>Goro freezes. His apartment is charmed and spelled to prevent anyone he doesn't want to find him from seeing it exists. He hasn't ordered any takeout. He gets all his mail and packages from the mailroom. He'll never want a solicitor to find him.</p>
<p>He pulls a gun out of his desk drawer with his right hand and toes off his slippers. As quietly as he can, he moves towards the door, where the person on the other side keeps up a constant stream of knocks. Goro slides his feet the last bit of the way, then carefully looks out the peephole.</p>
<p>There's a blond punk knocking on his door. Goro watches him for a few seconds, and the blond punk throws his head back and sighs without stopping.</p>
<p>"Come on, man," the punk says. "I'm makin' a scene. Yo, Crowboy! I got some info for ya!"</p>
<p>There is no way in hell this man could be another agent, but then Goro thinks about the other agents he's met. He thinks of himself and realizes that, yes, this man could absolutely work for the Velvet Society. He tsks, opens the door, and points the gun at the man's face.</p>
<p>"Finally—" The blond punk sees the gun and immediately holds his hands up. "Holy shit. What the fuck??"</p>
<p>"Codename," Goro says, keeping the gun levelled at him.</p>
<p>"Captain Kidd. Oh, c'mon, it's not that weird! Pirates are cool! And you're one to talk, Crow!"</p>
<p>"Mine is a perfectly normal code name," Goro says. He doesn't lower his gun. "Yours is not."</p>
<p>"Man, Alibaba ain't kidding about you bein' a dick," Captain Kidd mutters. "Could ya put the gun down and let me in?"</p>
<p>"No. How did you find me?"</p>
<p>"Uh, is this a trick question? Alibaba gave me your address, duh."</p>
<p>"No." Goro tightens his grip on the gun. "How did you find me? This apartment is supposed to be hidden from everyone except those I want to find me. I did not want you to find me. How did you get past the spells I cast?"</p>
<p>Captain Kidd's eyes light up. "Oooh, shit, my bad! My specialty is bustin' through spells and charms and barriers. You know Mona? He calls me the Spellbuster."</p>
<p>Goro does know Mona, and he knows Lavenza's assistant calls someone in the Velvet Society the "Spellbusting Monkey" instead of their actual codename. Looking at Captain Kidd, he understands why. He lowers the gun and steps back from the door. </p>
<p>"All right, fine, come in. Why did you want to meet with me in my home?"</p>
<p>"I like talkin' to people face to face," Captain Kidd says, kicking off his shoes and sending them flying haphazardly across the entryway. "'Sides, I figured the safest way to deliver this to you would be to do it in person, and I wasn't too far away, so... Catch!"</p>
<p>Captain Kidd tosses something at him. Goro catches it and stares at the Gorb.</p>
<p>"Heard ya didn't have one, so Lavenza told me to bring ya one. We have a decent number of spares, so here you go."</p>
<p>He stares at the Gorb in dismay. The Gorb stares back with its black embroidered eyes. They're soulless. It's disturbing.</p>
<p>"Thank you," Goro says flatly. "What am I supposed to do with him?"</p>
<p>Captain Kidd shrugs. "I dunno. We've been using them at HQ as stress relievers. They don't hurt when you get hit with them, and they make satisfying smacks if you throw 'em against a wall as hard as you can. Woah, hey, cool it with the killing aura! What the eff?"</p>
<p>"<em>They look like me</em>."</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, I can see how'd that be disturbing for you, but we don't think of them as being you? I mean, I didn't even know what you looked like until just now."</p>
<p>Goro sighs and puts the Gorb on his desk, next to all the other documents he's obtained. "Is there anything else you need, or did you really come all this way to give me this Gorb and see what I look like?"</p>
<p>Captain Kidd's face grows somber. "Yeah, there's more. I don't know if you heard, but there's been rumors more of 'em are appearing around Japan than anywhere else in the world as of twenty hours ago. HQ hasn't done all the number crunching and data collecting yet, so there's nothing official, but it's trending on Chirper."</p>
<p>"We're the epicenter?"</p>
<p>"Apparently. So keep an eye out for that, 'cause I'm sure The Twins will send you a shitton of crap once they get it sorted out. And if you happen to have any spawn around you, let Alibaba know ASAP. Apparently some of the agents have had multiple spawns in their home, and we're worried. J's been hit hard. I think he got ten in three days?"</p>
<p>Great. Wonderful. Tokyo is once again the epicenter for supernatural activity. He should have moved out to the frozen fields of northern Canada when he had the chance in university. "Thank you. I'll be sure to keep an eye out."</p>
<p>Captain Kidd gives him a sloppy salute and a wide smile. "Awesome! I'm outta here, then. Keep bonkin'!"</p>
<p>"What?" Goro says, but Captain Kidd's already grabbed his shoes and left. He stares at the door in silence for a few seconds before he realizes he has to respell his apartment.</p>
<p>"Spellbusting Monkey indeed," he mutters.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The pattern of the Gorbs reveals itself in the coming days. Tokyo, Japan is the epicenter, and the amount of dots cluttering the map around the city get to be so many, The Twins end up coloring the entire city in. The frequency of the Gorbs' manifestations also increases. They go from spawning five to six times a day to spawning 2 dozen a day in Tokyo alone. Worldwide, the number goes up to 4 dozen a day, including Tokyo. The Gorbs go viral and stay viral. Conspiracy theories abound. </p>
<p>The pattern is obvious, but Goro's no closer to finding out why it's happening, what's causing it, or why it's his face and form they've chosen. At the very least, from multiple reports and studies, the Gorbs are completely, utterly harmless. They're normal plushes in every sense of the word, minus the fact they look like Goro. </p>
<p>The Gorbs being harmless doesn't do much to improve Goro's mood, however, nor does that appease Lavenza. Alibaba's updates eventually turn into status reports about Lavenza's anxiety three weeks later, and even information from The Twins dries up in terms of anything new or relevant.</p>
<p>Then, one month after Captain Kidd had visited, The Twins get an idea.</p>
<p>A letter is stuck on his bathroom mirror one morning. The stationary has rabbits on it, and the ink is a bright, cheery red. In rounded characters, one of them has written:</p>
<p>"Crow! This is a strange request, but we have a theory. Could you leave as many pictures of yourself and personal belongings you aren't afraid to not have around for a while on your kitchen table? By nine o'clock tonight, please. There's something we need to test, and we need a lot of pictures and possessions. The possessions should have some value to you, so nothing you won't miss, either. We'll return them to you once we're done testing, we promise!"</p>
<p>The request does not sit well with Goro at all, but it's been a month of no progress. If The Twins have a theory, he'll play along and go with it. He doesn't have many pictures of himself, but the ones he does have go into a shoebox on his kitchen table. He also puts in his favorite mug, his favorite tie, a watch he's had for over a decade, and a limited edition Featherman figure he bought with his first paycheck with the Velvet Society. At nine, the box vanishes from his kitchen table with a loud pop and the scent of violets.</p>
<p>He hears nothing about The Twins' theory until three days later, when his computer turns itself on at six in the morning. Alibaba's avatar monopolizes all the real estate on his monitor.</p>
<p>"CROW," she yells, "wake up if you aren't awake already! Big breakthrough you're not gonna like!"</p>
<p>He just hit snooze on his alarm. "Why," he groans. "Why the hell are you waking me up with bad news?!"</p>
<p>"Because it's important! We figured out what the Gorb spawns are attracted to! But before that, you really haven't had a single Gorb spawn near you or around you at all?"</p>
<p>Goro covers his head with a pillow. "No," he says, not caring if his voice is too muffled to be heard. "I don't have a single one other than the one Captain Kidd gave me."</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah, about him. He's gonna be over in like twenty minutes, so make yourself presentable."</p>
<p>Goro throws the pillow at his computer monitor.</p>
<p>"Seriously, you have to pay attention to this. It's weird you aren't drowning in Gorbs. We've determined the Gorbs are spawning around, well, you. Or at least stuff like pictures of you. Or possessions of you. See, The Twins built a shrine to you in our labs—"</p>
<p>"What?!"</p>
<p>"—because practically all of the Gorb spawns at HQ were in our records room and in Lady Lavenza's office, around that picture of you and J looking like you're about to murder each other at the staff party. We have physical copies of everyone's records, and there's a headshot in everyone's files. Anyway, they found other locations with really high Gorb spawn frequencies were places you frequented a lot, or in the homes of people who, uh, had a lot of your belongings or pictures of you."</p>
<p>"<em>What</em>?! What do you mean by they have a lot of—"</p>
<p>"Private information! Confidential! You don't have clearance! Point is, the Gorbs are spawning around stuff that's associated with <em>you</em>, but we don't know why they aren't appearing around you yourself. That's why Captain Kidd is coming over. We want you to stay at our facilities for a while and see if your apartment gets filled with Gorbs while you're out."</p>
<p>"I don't like this plan."</p>
<p>"You don't get a choice," Alibaba says as someone starts knocking on Goro's door. "Orders came from Lady Lavenza herself."</p>
<p>Goro rolls over onto his stomach and yells. </p>
<p>Four hours later, he and Captain Kidd stroll into Alibaba's lair. Goro stubs his toe three times as they shuffle awkwardly into the dark room. Alibaba has some sort of ridiculous mascot head over her head, and the green glow of her multiple monitors backlight her with an ominous energy.</p>
<p>Her voice is muffled when she speaks. "Good job on installing the cameras, you two. I've checked them; they all work properly. We'll know in a few days if Gorbs start spawning. From your tracked activities, it seems like it takes an average of four days for Gorbs to spawn in a place you frequent. We'll start you off with a week at HQ. Hopefully this will bring Lady Lavenza some peace of mind, too, if Gorbs don't spawn where you are."</p>
<p>"Man," Captain Kidd says, scuffing the floor with his shoes, "I don't envy any of ya. I saw the mountain of Gorbs you got in storage, and I saw the trash bags full of 'em J brought in."</p>
<p>Something about that sentence does not sit right with Goro, but before he can ask, Alibaba jumps out of her chair. </p>
<p>"Oh, right," she says, suddenly panicked, "I should show you where you're staying! Come on, Crow! Captain Kidd, good work! Now leave us alone and go somewhere else!"</p>
<p>"For real? Don't I gotta make a report or—"</p>
<p>"GOODBYE," Alibaba shouts, then runs out of her room. "Crow! Don't lag behind!"</p>
<hr/>
<p>One week and two days later, Goro is still at HQ because his apartment has been filled to the brim with Gorbs. The cameras pick up nothing other than darkness and Gorbs. If someone tries to open his door, they would be crushed beneath a tide of Gorbs spilling out into the hall. </p>
<p>"On the bright side," Alibaba says, "the global spawn rate for Gorbs has seriously dropped. On the dark side, Lavenza is forbidding you from leaving HQ for more than two days at a time because she doesn't want that happening here."</p>
<p>"I want my apartment back."</p>
<p>"We're working on figuring it out! You should be working hard, too!"</p>
<p>Four more days pass with nothing new discovered. Goro is tempted to ask them to take the risk and clear out his apartment of Gorbs so he can at least get more of his belongings out, but then Lavenza calls him into a meeting with her. </p>
<p>He steps into her overwhelmingly blue office and notices someone else is there.</p>
<p>"Agent Crow," Lavenza says, sitting on a booster seat in her giant executive office chair, "we have some good news. Please, take a seat."</p>
<p>Something about the situation feels like a set up. Goro sits anyway.</p>
<p>"This is Agent Printemps," Lavenza says, and the other woman in the room nods politely. "She's a channeler, albeit an unorthodox one."</p>
<p>"I speak to the earth, to the very planet itself," Printemps says. "It usually doesn't have much to say, so my powers aren't very useful for much other than gardening, but... I've been having problems communicating with it for a while, and I only just figured out why last night."</p>
<p>Lavenza turns her eyes onto Goro. "You may wish to prepare yourself."</p>
<p>"I dreaded hearing whatever I'm about to hear the moment I stepped into the room," Goro says. "Just tell me."</p>
<p>"The Earth has a soul... It's not quite the same as our souls, but it has a soul and it has feelings. The Earth's feelings are generally very relaxed; contrary to the 'wrath of gaia' concept you see in the media, it's very calm and loving. However, it recently has devoted its love to one person in particular."</p>
<p>No. "No," Goro says. "No."</p>
<p>"Congratulations," Printemps says, and the way she says it makes her sound completely sincere. "The Earth is in love with you, and the Gorbs are its way of conveying that love to you."</p>
<p>"No. I— No!" He stands, and both Lavenza and Printemps look up at him. "Are you listening to her? The planet is <em>in love with me</em>—"</p>
<p>"Yes," Lavenza says, face as emotive as a wooden board. "We believe you are able to stop the Gorb phenomenon by tapping into the Earth's love for you. There is a leyline not too far from here. By utilizing Printemps' power, we believe you may be able to communicate directly with the Earth and politely ask it to stop creating Gorbs."</p>
<p>Goro resists the urge to gnash his teeth and storm out of Lavenza's office. "This is a joke. You're both fucking with me."</p>
<p>Lavenza shakes her head. "It is not, and we are not. Agent Crow, will you not speak with the Earth and accept its feelings for the sake of the world?"</p>
<p>Goro screams. Just a little. "This doesn't make sense!"</p>
<p>"Love seldom does," Printemps says solemnly.</p>
<p>"If the planet is in love with me, then why the hell is it making Gorbs everywhere but where I am?"</p>
<p>"It's shy," Printemps says. "Although our planet is far older than any of us, it is still in the springtime of its youth... I think you're the first person it's ever fallen for!"</p>
<p>Goro's next exhale comes out as a desperate wheeze. </p>
<p>"I am aware this must be troubling news for you," Lavenza says, calm and measured and not at all like she is trying to sell the <em>fucking planet being in love with him</em> to Goro. "But we do not have time to be troubled. Now is the time to act." </p>
<p>With some struggle, she slides off her executive office chair and walks towards the door. "Agent Crow, please come with us. We must act posthaste."</p>
<p>"This is a practical joke of poor taste," Goro says even as he follows after her. "Everyone's going to be there with a camera to record my reaction, and then I'm going to quit and leak this organization to the press."</p>
<p>"Oh, please don't do that," Printemps says as she follows behind him. "I would have to kill you, and I'd feel terrible for doing so after you've had such an ordeal."</p>
<p>Maybe it's time for him to look for a new job.</p>
<p>The leyline nearby, as it turns out, is located in the parking lot. This does nothing to dispel the notion all of this is a horrible prank. Lavenza lifts up and sets aside an entire concrete slab the size of a vehicle, and Printemps walks to the center of the exposed earth before looking meaningfully at Goro. He walks over, feeling like an idiot, and Printemps beams at him before holding out her hand.</p>
<p>"We will need to make direct contact for you to hear the Earth's voice," she says. "Please take off your glove."</p>
<p>He yanks off his glove and slaps his hand down into hers. She smiles, closes her eyes, and then grips so hard Goro nearly winces.</p>
<p>"Please don't let go of my hand," she says sweetly, tightening the grip, and Goro does wince. "Now, please close your eyes and allow the voice of the Earth flow through you."</p>
<p>The Earth, contrary to what Printemps says, doesn't have a voice. What it does have is a surge of emotion and warmth and <em>feeling</em> so strange and strong Goro nearly pulls away from Printemps out of shock. Her death grip on him prevents it from happening, and Goro is forced to take in the Earth's feelings, the Earth's thoughts, and the Earth's sugary sweet crush on him.</p>
<p>"Uh," Goro says as he feels the Earth's energy focus on him. It's expecting something. "Hello. I am quite flattered to be the object of your affection, but—" Would it kill the planet to not be creepy about it? "—these objects you're spawning are inconveniencing us all. Could you perhaps stop?"</p>
<p>A rush of warmth tells him the Earth had made them for him. The Gorbs are a symbol of its innocent, pure love. They had been created to be harmless and cute so they wouldn't inconvenience anyone. The Earth had thought the Gorbs would make him happy.</p>
<p>"To be perfectly honest, I'm creeped out."</p>
<p>The Earth is shocked. Stunned. It apologizes. This entire situation is so stupid.   </p>
<p>"It's all right. I'm not upset," Goro lies to the planet. "If you could stop manifesting things to let me know about your feelings, that would make me happy."</p>
<p>Of course, the Earth tells him. Anything for him.</p>
<p>The entire planet winks at him. Somehow. Then the connection stops. </p>
<p>Printemps releases his hand, and Goro steps back. </p>
<p>"Is it done?" Lavenza asks.</p>
<p>Printemps nods. "Yes, I believe so. The Earth seemed so happy to have spoken with Crow. I think it will be placated." She turns to Crow and has the gall to look happy for him. "You're so loved by the planet itself! Isn't that wonderful?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"I think it is wonderful," Lavenza says.</p>
<p>Goro does not tell her she is wrong, but it's a near thing. "Did that despawn the Gorbs, or is my apartment still packed to the brim with them?"</p>
<p>"Oh, the Earth can't despawn them. That's not how its magic works. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to remove the Gorbs from your apartment manually."</p>
<p>"The Velvet Society's warehouses and storage rooms are full," Lavenza states. "You'll have to find homes for the Gorbs yourself. Perhaps you could try selling them online?"</p>
<p>Goro rolls his eyes. "And who in their right mind would want to buy one of those monstrosities?" </p>
<p>Lavenza stares straight ahead at nothing. After a long stretch of silence, she says, "I am certain there are collectors out there who would love to obtain one of the thousands of Gorbs in your apartment. Perhaps not in this world, but—"</p>
<p>"I am not going to dimension hop to unload plushes of myself born from the Earth's crush on me."</p>
<p>"So be it," Lavenza states, then she makes a shooing motion with her hands. "Please return inside. I need to restore this parking space to its original state. Agent Crow, Agent Captain Kidd has already expressed willingness to assist you in clearing out the Gorbs from your apartment."</p>
<p>Great. He'll need to redo all the spells and charms a third time.</p>
<p>"So has Agent J, but given how the two of you are prone to violence and destruction of property when in close proximity to one another, I have given him a month long mission in Hokkaido. Instead, The Twin Agents will be offering their assistance from afar. Please talk to them and let them know where they should teleport the Gorbs." She casually hefts up the slab of concrete. "That is all. You are dismissed for the day."</p>
<p>He wants to sleep for a year, but he can do that after he gets his apartment back. Goro heads back to HQ without a word, gathers his support, and readies himself to tackle the issue of figuring out where in the world to store all the Gorbs. Maybe he could bribe someone to dimension hop in his place. Surely someone out in the multiverse must want them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. This is the Future that Goroboys Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 7: Free Day</p>
<p>Gen piece featuring a PT sleepover. Wrote the bulk of this in a night because I am bad at finishing things early. Thank you to everyone who read and commented! I really appreciate all of you &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morgana slept on top of his laptop keyboard, which was the risk Goro had to take to use the bathroom at Leblanc. Unlike the others, he had no qualms about picking Morgana up around the middle and plopping him onto the table.</p>
<p>"Whyyy," Morgana groaned as Goro set him aside. "Your computer's so warm!"</p>
<p>Goro waved Morgana's paws aside as he swatted towards the laptop. "I have work to do. The others will be here soon. Go bother one of them."</p>
<p>"The others are gonna be coming in from the cold."</p>
<p>Goro smiled sweetly at him. "Not my problem."</p>
<p>Sojiro let out a huff behind the counter. "Seriously, one of these days you kids are going to make me lose my business... Could you have at least moved Morgana to the seat? We should pretend to be subtle about having a cat in the shop."</p>
<p>"We should turn Leblanc into a cat cafe," Ren said. Sojiro smacked him gently with a rag.</p>
<p>"No. Not as long as I'm running the place. I don't care what you do with it once I retire, but I'm not going to be known as a guy who owns a cat cafe."</p>
<p>Goro tuned out their debate as he continued to work on his essay. Morgana curled up next to his laptop vent to soak up the heat. He wrote six paragraphs, deleted eight of them, and was contemplating rewriting the entire thing from scratch when the first of their merry crew entered the store. Ann and Ryuji crashed through the door together; they huddled close for warmth as they stomped off the snow on the pitiful welcome mat.</p>
<p>Ryuji ripped off his beanie and shook off the snow. "I-It's so freakin' cold! The hell's with this cold wave?!"</p>
<p>"Worst one in over thirty years. If it sticks around long enough, we might actually get a white Christmas," Sojiro said. He sighed. "I'll grab a mop. No, you kids don't worry about it. Go sit down and warm yourselves up. Ren, take care of their drinks."</p>
<p>"Already on it, Boss."</p>
<p>The two of them slid into the seat across from Goro's as he closed his laptop and gathered his notes. Morgana groaned when Goro moved him again. "Has the snow gotten that bad?"</p>
<p>"It's so bad," Ann said, sticking her hands under Morgana's belly. Morgana yelped but didn't move. "I hope everyone's gonna make it here okay."</p>
<p>"Eh, they'll be fine," Ryuji said, trying to do the same thing as Ann. He was thwarted by Morgana swatting at his hands. "I'm more worried about us bein' able to get home."</p>
<p>"You guys could always spend the night," Ren said, and Goro swore he could feel Sojiro's spirit begrudgingly give in. "We could text Futaba and ask her to bring some stuff when she finally gets here."</p>
<p>"You should ask Boss for permission first," Goro said so Sojiro would have someone on his side.</p>
<p>Ren didn't look up from the pour. "I'll help bring over the sheets and blankets, and I'll launder everything after."</p>
<p>Sojiro shook his head as he mopped. "Even if I said no, you guys would find a way to take the extra blankets and sheets right under my nose. Guess this is what I get for harboring thieves."</p>
<p>"Ex-thieves."</p>
<p>"Dude, I totally watched you yoink that guy's keys— Ow! The eff, Ann?!"</p>
<p>Ann took her hand back from slapping Ryuji's shoulder. "Oh my god, why are you still so bad at keeping your mouth shut!?"</p>
<p>"What's this about keys," Sojiro said. Ren made a strangled wheezing sound.</p>
<p>"Please never interact with my parole officer," Goro said to Ren as Ann and Ryuji got into a shouting match. "I would like to not go back to jail."</p>
<p>Ren slouched, although his pour remained steady. "I gave them back. He was bothering Futaba, so I stole his keys to distract him."</p>
<p>Sojiro dragged the mop back into the bathroom with a pained expression on his face. "Here I thought you quit the life of crime."</p>
<p>"He's a Phantom Thief through and through," Morgana said, eyes glistening with tears from pride. "I taught him so well!"</p>
<p>"A criminal through and through," Goro echoed. "A bad influence on us all."</p>
<p>"Excuse you," Ren said, but before he could say anything else, the door opened. </p>
<p>A spray of snow accompanied Yusuke, Sumire, Makoto, and Haru. The girls huddled together for warmth with Yusuke behind them, looking unperturbed despite the unbuttoned coat he wore. He was also covered in more snow than the others.</p>
<p>Sumire stomped her feet. "It's so cold! W-why is it so cold?"</p>
<p>Haru shivered in place. "I...should have bundled up more. The temperature dropped so quickly..."</p>
<p>"I'm starting to worry about how we're going to leave tonight." Makoto brushed snow off her clothes with a shaking arm. "Boss, I'm so sorry... There's going to be water everywhere."</p>
<p>"Most of it shall be from me. My apologies, but it seems I was immune to the cold, and thus offered myself to be a shield against the wind."</p>
<p>Sojiro sighed and pulled out the mop he just put away. "It's fine. I expected it as much. I'm more shocked you kids didn't better prepare for the cold and the snow."</p>
<p>Makoto gave a weak groan as they moved to a booth. "The blizzard came on very suddenly... There weren't any warnings about it, so I had no idea things were going to get this bad so quickly."</p>
<p>"Maybe we oughta go pick up Futaba now and help her haul stuff over," Ryuji said. "Hey, Yusuke, you wanna help us get blankets and shit from Boss's place?"</p>
<p>Sumire adhered herself to the radiator. "Blankets? What for?"</p>
<p>"A sleepover," Goro said as Ryuji slid out of the booth and hauled Yusuke back out. Sojiro sighed and set the mop aside, the snow near the door rapidly melting into a puddle.</p>
<p>Makoto peeled off her damp coat and draped it over the back of a stool before she sat down in a booth seat. "A sleepover?"</p>
<p>"In Leblanc," Ren said as he stared forlornly at the spot where Ryuji was, a cup of hot chocolate in one hand and a cup of coffee for Ann in the other. "Anyone want Ryuji's hot chocolate? I get the feeling it's going to be a while for them to come back."</p>
<p>Ann's hand shot straight up before anyone else's, and Ren shrugged and placed both drinks in front of her.</p>
<p>"I haven't had a sleepover in so long." Sumire sighed and pulled off her mittens. "I should let my dad know... I'm not sure if he'll be okay with it, but if I mention my other women senpai will be here, he might allow it."</p>
<p>"One of the nice things about having my own place is not having to explain what my plans are... Although I am planning to meet Sis for brunch tomorrow; I should send her a message in case I can't make it back in time to change."</p>
<p>"If I had known we would be staying over, I would have brought a change of clothes and some pajamas. Although I suppose I could ask one of the maids to bring it over."</p>
<p>"I've got clean clothes if anyone wants to change," Ren said. "Some of them might be too big, but they're comfortable."</p>
<p>"Senpai, um, when you say clean clothes, are you talking about the armor and things you'd carry with you into the Metaverse you laundered clean?"</p>
<p>Morgana hopped off the table when Ann took her hands out from under him to drink Ryuji's hot chocolate. "Nah, we sold all those ages ago. He does have a lot of t-shirts, though. He keeps buying the touristy ones."</p>
<p>"I love Tokyo," Ren deadpanned.</p>
<p>"Which is why you came back to torment all of us," Goro replied. He gently shook his empty coffee cup at him. "Refill, barista?"</p>
<p>Ren sighed. "I'm only good for coffee and crime, huh?"</p>
<p>They chatted away for fifteen minutes before the door opened again, bringing in even more snow along with the three absent members of their crew. Both Ryuji and Yusuke hauled in two bulging trash bags, and Futaba waddled in behind them. She was wrapped up in so many layers her face was barely visible and her body was almost round.</p>
<p>"H-holy sh-sh-shit," Ryuji said as soon as the door closed. He dropped the trash bags down and stomped his feet. "It's f-freezin' out there!"</p>
<p>"It has gotten somewhat cold."</p>
<p>"Mmmmph mmm mmmgh!!"</p>
<p>Sojiro closed his eyes and leaned against the counter. "Futaba, how many layers did you put on? Did you wear every piece of clothing you own?"</p>
<p>"Mmmmmmnn."</p>
<p>"What? I can't understand you."</p>
<p>"MMMMMM!!!"</p>
<p>"I think," Yusuke said, "she is trying to communicate she is unable to speak because of how many layers she's wearing."</p>
<p>Futaba wobbled in agreement. "MMMMM NNN MMMMM!!!" She wobbled some more. "MMMFFF??!!"</p>
<p>"Uh, anyone understand what she's sayin' now?"</p>
<p>Futaba continued to wobble. The wobbling appeared distressed.</p>
<p>"Wait," Goro said, "can she free herself?"</p>
<p>"NNNNN!!!"</p>
<p>There was a pause, and then everyone scrambled to help Futaba out.</p>
<p>"Oh my god," she gasped once they managed to get enough layers off her so she could move her arms. "I was feeling great about being all bundled up and cozy until I realized I couldn't get out."</p>
<p>Ann winced and sat down again, draping two of Futaba's hoodies on the seatback. "Yeah, after like...five layers, it gets really hard to move around."</p>
<p>"Ah," said Yusuke. "I remember that."</p>
<p>Goro decided he didn't want to know. "Are the blankets and sheets in the trash bags?"</p>
<p>"Yep," Ryuji said as he followed Ann and sat down. "We got practically all of 'em outta the house. Took us a while, but there should be enough for all of us." He looked at the table. "Whoa, wait, what the hell happened to my hot chocolate?"</p>
<p>"You left right as Ren finished it, so I drank it!"</p>
<p>"What the eff, Ann? I was lookin' forward to that!"</p>
<p>"Making another one right now," Ren shouted from the back.</p>
<p>Sojiro shook his head at the trash bags. "Every blanket and sheet in the house, huh?"</p>
<p>"Oh, don't worry, Sojiro," Futaba said as she took off yet another hoodie. "I made sure they left your bed alone. Didn't want you to freeze!"</p>
<p>"Heh, thanks." Sojiro rubbed the back of his head and looked around. "Maybe I should get going. Don't want to get stuck in here with all of you." He gripped the mop and gave Ren a meaningful look.</p>
<p>"I got it," Ren said, not looking up from the coffee he was making. "Be careful going home, Boss."</p>
<p>Once Sojiro left and Ren made everyone's drinks, the conversation moved from whether Ann drinking Ryuji's hot chocolate was theft to how they would arrange their sleeping spaces. Despite being the one whose space was intruded on, Ren contributed very little to the conversation and focused on mopping. Morgana did the talking instead. Unfortunate, given how he chose to sprawl on the top of the booth seat Goro was sitting in, which meant Goro got his voice right in his ears.</p>
<p>"This could all be solved if we split up the downstairs and upstairs," Makoto said. There was a stubborn set to her jaw that was more Queen than anyone else. "The booth seats aren't that small."</p>
<p>"They are far too short for me," Yusuke said. "Besides which, I am more accustomed to sleeping in a futon than a bed."</p>
<p>"Dude, if we split up, then the girls would be sleepin' down here and us up there."</p>
<p>"I think it'd be fun for all of us to be squished together upstairs," Haru said. "I've never had to share my sleeping space like that before."</p>
<p>"There's no way nine people could all fit comfortably on the attic floor."</p>
<p>"Ten, Lady Ann! I'm here too!"</p>
<p>"You're not a real person," Goro said, and Morgana swatted the back of his head.</p>
<p>"It gets cold up there," Ren said as he wrung out the mop into a bucket. "The heater works, but it could be a fire hazard."</p>
<p>"The cold wouldn't bother us if we were all huddled together."</p>
<p>"You're really set on this, aren't you, Haru?" Futaba gave an exaggerated shiver. "Pass. I like you guys, but not that much."</p>
<p>"I don't know," Sumire said, "I think it might be kind of fun? I, um, used to share a bed with Kasumi when we were younger... It was comforting, having someone to hold on to in your sleep."</p>
<p>A silence descended upon them, like the thick layer of snow had descended upon the city.</p>
<p>"O-oh, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring the mood down!"</p>
<p>"No, Sumire, you have no need to apologize," Makoto said. "Um, I do remember crawling into Sis's bed when we were both really young. You're right, it is nice to be able to do that, but I feel it will still be somewhat awkward."</p>
<p>Morgana's tail brushed against the back of Goro's neck with every twitch, and Goro was tempted to pull him down to the table. "Yeah! Besides, who knows what some monkey might do if we're all squished together."</p>
<p>"What the— You pickin' a fight with me?!"</p>
<p>"No! I'm stating facts! You probably kick in your sleep! What if you kicked Lady Ann in the face?!"</p>
<p>"I'm gonna kick <em>you</em> in the face!"</p>
<p>"Please don't kick my cat in the face."</p>
<p>"I'm not a cat!"</p>
<p>Goro tuned out the conversation. His refill had gotten cold, but he still wrapped his hands around the mug because it felt comforting to hold. It boggled him sometimes to think about the Phantom Thieves, himself, and how far they'd all come in the two years since everything had finished. </p>
<p>He hadn't expected to live. He hadn't expected to be offered parole. He hadn't expected motherfucking Shido Masayoshi to pull strings and testify to get Goro a lighter sentence because the Phantom Thieves had stolen his heart rather than let Goro self destruct and drag Shido down with him.</p>
<p>He was still bitter about it some days. But the bitterness was a faded aftertaste in the back of his throat rather than a physical sensation of disgust that overrode all his other senses.</p>
<p>And sometimes a little bitterness was nice. Like a good cup of coffee, it accented and highlighted the more subtle, refined notes he would have otherwise missed.</p>
<p>He lifted his cup to his mouth and drained it.</p>
<p>Fifteen minutes later, the conversation-turned-argument ended with nothing decided, but everyone wanted to move onto Tycoon. Goro played four games. He won one game, Haru won another, and Ren won most of the games he joined until they all realized he was cheating. Morgana was helping him by flicking his tail in certain ways, and Ren's uncanny Third Eye ability helped figure out everything else. </p>
<p>They almost threw Ren and Morgana out of Leblanc after they realized. Ren offered to make it up to everyone by cooking dinner, which he had planned on doing from the very beginning. No one could turn down Ren's cooking, least of all Goro himself, so they continued playing. Goro played until Ryuji hoarding and playing all four 8s one at a time made him too salty to play. He sat back and watched several more games until Yusuke's bizarre playing habits made him too salty to watch. </p>
<p>He offered to arrange the upstairs to prepare it for sleeping, and Futaba offered to join him since playing left her drained. They went upstairs with the garbage bags full of blankets. No one had decided anything definitive, so Goro decided for them. He swept the floor upstairs as Futaba fought with the mop.</p>
<p>They worked in silence for a few minutes before Futaba spoke. "Hey," she said, voice somber in the muffled silence of the attic. "Sorry if this is weird, but happy not actually dying anniversary." </p>
<p>Goro froze, but it took him a long time to figure out what Futaba was referring to. The bullet scar that grazed the side of his head throbbed in pain. "Ah. I hadn't realized it was today."</p>
<p>"It wasn't— This wasn't planned, by the way. I mean, maybe Ren planned it, but it wasn't the intent for the rest of us." Futaba twisted the mop handle in her hands. "And, I mean, it's not as if we really knew you weren't dead back then either, but we know now, so—"</p>
<p>"It's all right," Goro said, and it shocked him to discover he actually meant it. </p>
<p>"It's not," Futaba said, dropping the mop and glaring at the attic floor like it had offended her. "It's really not. None of anything that happened was all right, but I know there's nothing any of us can do about it except process it and move on. And this is me moving on!"</p>
<p>He said nothing.</p>
<p>"I'm...glad you didn't die," Futaba whispered. "I didn't always feel that way, but I do now. So happy not actually dying anniversary."</p>
<p>Words. Words were important. Words were good. He should use words. "...Thank you."</p>
<p>Futaba inhaled and her entire body moved up with the action. "Okay! Cool. Awesome. I'm gonna keep mopping. Have you finished sweeping that area yet? I think we should totally dismantle Ren's bed and make him sleep on the floor with us."</p>
<p>Ren's bed was no longer a wafer thin mattress on top of some milk crates, but the frame was collapsible for when they needed space. "I agree. Especially after he cheated."</p>
<p>They finished preparations in time to watch the final game of Tycoon wrap up with Makoto winning. Ren announced dinner was ready shortly after, and the meal they shared was filled with conversation and laughter. They sat and listened to the news reports in the background. The blizzard ended a while back, but the temperature was still dropping. The hot food that filled their bellies kept them warm, but as they sat and digested, the chill began to creep into Leblanc.</p>
<p>They all helped clean up the cafe, then headed up once Goro told them he and Futaba had decided on the sleeping configurations. There was some griping, but everyone went upstairs. Some shuffling around and passing out of clothing later, all ten of them huddled together around the heater in the center of the room.</p>
<p>Ren sulked. "I can't believe you two took down my bed."</p>
<p>"It's what you deserve," Goro said. He was sandwiched between Ren and Ryuji, and he could already tell one of them was going to get kicked in the middle of the night. </p>
<p>"I'm afraid I agree," Makoto said. "Honestly, Morgana, you shouldn't have enabled him by playing along."</p>
<p>"A thief will use any tool in his skillset to seize victory! I taught him that!"</p>
<p>"Meh," Futaba mumbled, already sounding half asleep, "he's not a real thief anymore. Just some pickpocket."</p>
<p>"Hey! I picked that man's pocket for you."</p>
<p>"Don't worry, Senpai. If you get arrested again, we'll post your bail! Right, Haru-senpai?"</p>
<p>"Yes! So long as you don't commit a felony, that is."</p>
<p>"Thanks, guys," Ren said flatly. "Your confidence in me means a lot."</p>
<p>"You know," Yusuke said, "I've always wondered what Ren would look like in a traditional prisoner's outfit. The black and white stripes are rather depressing, but on his frame... I wonder..."</p>
<p>Ann rolled over onto her stomach and peered around the heater to look at Ren. "Oh, yeah... You do wear clothes pretty well. I bet you could work that."</p>
<p>Ren was silent for a moment before he responded. "No, I looked horrible."</p>
<p>"Woah, hold up," Ryuji said, and he sat up so fast he nearly kicked Goro in the side. "You wore that outfit before? Was it when you were in... Y'know."</p>
<p>"No. I wore it because Yaldabaoth had bad taste."</p>
<p>That got everyone's attention. Including Goro's. The ensuing conversation took up most of the evening and lasted until Futaba began to snore softly. They settled down after, and Goro endured Morgana walking over his stomach in order to settle down at Ren's feet.</p>
<p>He stayed awake for a long time, listening to the different ways the others slept. Ren was dead silent, which wasn't surprising. Ryuji snored, but inconsistently. Someone on the other side of the room let out a soft whistle every other exhale. </p>
<p>Even with the blankets and coats piled beneath him and over him, the attic floor wasn't a comfortable place to sleep. Still, despite the discomfort and the off putting sensation of having people next to him, Goro was...at peace. Calm. His head was quiet. </p>
<p>He closed his eyes, and sleep took him faster than it ever had.</p>
<p>When he woke up, it was because Morgana had stepped on him again. He groaned and realized something was resting over his stomach. He opened his eyes and squinted at the pale sunlight streaming through the attic windows. After Goro pushed himself up into a sitting position, he looked around and found the source of the weight on his body were Ryuji's legs.</p>
<p>Ryuji had shifted sideways in the middle of the night so that his legs were on Goro's stomach and his head was on Yusuke's bony shoulders. Yusuke had shifted too, one leg somehow up in the air while the other was folded in a half-lotus pose. Everyone, actually, had ended up moving in the night. Makoto, Ann, and Sumire were cuddling each other. Haru somehow stole half of both Sumire and Yusuke's blankets and ended up upside down. Futaba managed to curl herself around Ren's desk chair. Ren himself was on top of his mattress, the dirty cheater, and Goro vowed to pelt him with a few snowballs. </p>
<p>Morgana stood at the stairs and huffed. He met Goro's eyes and flicked his tail, and that was the only warning Goro got to clamp his hands over his ears.</p>
<p>"<strong>WAKE UP!!!</strong>" Morgana yelled, and half the people in the room jolted awake.</p>
<p>"<strong>BOSS IS GOING TO BE HERE IN HALF AN HOUR!</strong>" Morgana continued. "<strong>WAKE UP, GET UP, AND GET OUTTA HERE!</strong>" </p>
<p>The other half of the room woke up. Goro nearly got kicked in the face by Ryuji's flailing, and Yusuke did end up getting headbutted.</p>
<p>"Ow. My head...! No! Concussions can sometimes cause vision impairment!"</p>
<p>"Oh, shit, dude! My bad!"</p>
<p>"Um... M-Makoto-senpai, I t-think your hand is—"</p>
<p>"Oh! Oh my goodness, I am <em>so sorry</em>."</p>
<p>"Ugh... Mornings... Ren, how do you— Woah! How'd you get back on your mattress? No fair, you cheater! Akechi and I hauled that away so you wouldn't sleep on it!!"</p>
<p>"Good morning, everyone. I slept quite well considering I have never slept on the floor before! Do you think we could perhaps get a cup of coffee before we left?"</p>
<p>"Oh my god, Haru, how are you so chipper so early... Oof, my hair's in soooo many knots right now... Hey, Ren, you wouldn't happen to have a straightening iron, would you?"</p>
<p>"Ann," Goro said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "look at him. I doubt he's ever even seen a comb before."</p>
<p>"Rude."</p>
<p>"<strong>ALL OF YOU NEED TO GET UP AND STOP TALKING,</strong>" Morgana yelled. Then, in a normal tone of voice, he said: "And I need to use the bathroom! Ren, take me in with you!"</p>
<p>That definitely woke everyone up.</p>
<p>"The eff? There's no litter box in there."</p>
<p>"Litter box?! Just what do you think I am!? I use the toilet!"</p>
<p>"Morgana-senpai can use a toilet?!"</p>
<p>As the conversation exploded around him, Goro laid back down and covered his head with a blanket so no one could see him smile.</p>
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